I don’t claim to be the authority on mental health, I never have and imagine that I probably never will. I’m just a bloke, just a typical 20 something doing what most other 20 somethings do. And perhaps that’s where the issue is, I am just a bloke. I’m not very well versed in mental health issues and I certainly can’t imagine my male peers are all over it as well. Our media exposure over the years hasn’t prepared us for it, we don’t get our “menopause weekly advice” equivalent, or the “he won’t reply to my texts” supplement, it’s mostly tits, six packs, best beer, fastest cars, best sex and how to get the job of your dreams, you know, blokes’ stuff.

So when the day rolls around, you get out of bed and the birds aren’t singing, you suddenly realise that you are not ok. Something is not right and you don’t know why. You can’t quite put your finger on it, maybe you feel unmotivated, worried about the future, you don’t see an end to your issues and maybe you just don’t want to be here anymore.

How did we, as the alpha males, the strong men, the supporting beams of our family and friends get to the bottom of this pit with no ladder to get out?

For the last 2 years I’ve been running the British 10k for a charity called CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably). It’s a charity that offers support to men that basically, are feeling shit. I think one of the biggest issues I’ve encountered since engaging with this charity is how when I tell people I’m doing it, they either weren’t aware of services like CALM, or they had never really considered talking about it.

And why would they? Historically we don’t go home and talk about our feelings around the dinner table, why would we put a dampener on the evening? Why would we want to worry other people about our own feelings? Instead, let’s bottle up these feelings until we really do get to a desperate state… here’s a shocking statistic for you:

Male suicide is the single biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK

How has it come to this point where it is recognised as the biggest killer? I weep reading statistics such as these that can be combated in such simple ways. My biggest piece of advice is simple, as I have already stated I’m no expert on the matter.

Just start talking to your mates.

“actually I’m not feeling ok”

“today has been awful”

“lads I’m really not feeling myself”

Chances are they’re not going to laugh you out the building, if they do they need a slap and you need some new mates. Just by talking we start to break down what has previously been an unapproachable topic, and maybe you’re not the only one feeling the way you do.

Perhaps if you’re reading this I just ask one thing, be there for a mate, I beg that we don’t get to the point where you open your notifications in the morning and the worst thing imaginable has happened to your brother, dad, uncle, grandad or pal. Just imagine not having them in your lives anymore.