MAIL ORDER? YOU’RE JOKING, RIGHT?

MY DEAR RANT READERS,

When I awoke earlier today I had no idea of what today’s RANT would consist. Generally, I awaken, scan the MSN wire maybe look over the drafts that I have previously put together and saved and determine within an hour or so the subject matter of that day’s RANT. Well, dear friends, today was a bit different. I have not prepped whatsoever as indicated above with much thought or MSN ‘wire’ review…..I have had this story in my pointy, little head for months now and just needed the proverbial ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ to provide the inspiration….Well, dear friends, the straw “arrived” yesterday afternoon.

Many of you who know me realize I live in Denver with my wife of 30 years who does a near-daily commute to the University of Northern Colorado where she has been a Professor of Psychology for nearly 30 years. Our three daughters, all in their 20’s and raised in Denver, have chosen other venues in pursuit of their passion. Each was ‘home’ last week for Thanksgiving and now my wife, Marilyn, and I have reluctantly let them go back to Chicago, San Francisco and New York City where each is engaged in a challenging, do-good, undertaking and getting paid for it!

Anyway…..as a member of the Denver community since 1979 I have seen the city grow and mature. As a native Californian I arrived here well before the bumper stickers denigrating those from the Golden State were conceived and then printed.…”Don’t California-cate Colorado” seemed to appear everywhere. Was I one of those guys? Huh?…….Anyway, we, my wife and I, coincidentally from California, too, have managed to make a life here for ourselves and our family. I have engaged in several different and mostly-related opportunities to OUTSIDE SALES. Well, dear friends, that, along with The Daily RANT, six units of History at Metro State University heading toward a second degree. The History degree will complement my degree in Journalism received at Cal State University @ Northridge in the early ‘70s…..1970’s, that is…..a long, long time ago.

That being said…..I am working for a major national retailer, a franchisee, who has three Colorado locations….RELAX THE BACK. I have spoken of this company in the past and have had nothing but praise for their approach to the business. With that in mind….I spend a few hours each week outside of our retail store (located at 320 SO. Colorado Blvd. just south of Alameda and a block or two north of Virginia on Colorado Blvd.) talking to chiropractors, delivering our new Christmas catalogues, handing out business cards and generally ‘pressing the flesh.’ Some call it schmoozing…..Owners of office buildings may call it soliciting and have you tossed out. I call it surviving….and using referrals to service those chiropractors and physical therapists who want their clients and patients to have the opportunity to purchase the very finest in products specifically designed to both strengthen and relax the back. RELAX THE BACK…..Get it?

In my pursuit earlier this week……I struck up a conversation with an office manager of a relatively large chiropractic firm close to our RELAX THE BACK store at 320 SO. Colorado Blvd. in Denver, CO…..(note: if you are in the neighborhood anytime between 10 AM and 7 PM, M-SA. come in free 30 minute chair massage…..the very best! Sunday’s we close at 6 PM. You will then take it off your bucket list, guaranteed)…..So, this woman, Susan, and I start talking about all the stuff we receive in either our ‘focused, other or junk mail in boxes’ on our computers. One of the things mentioned was an opportunity…a never-ending opportunity….to lose 100 lbs. in like 24 hours….A bit of an exaggeration….but frankly, dear friends, it was the opportunity to eat a lot of bacon and have the pounds just melt away. The KETO stuff along with the ED (erectile disfunction)……..which was not discussed comes in hot and heavy and on a multi-time daily, solicitation. I joked with Susan that I should just start the KETO diet to stop the solicitation….She agreed. But then each of us came to our senses and said that dropping 100 lbs. in 24 hours may not be all that healthy……and that despite bacon being a major part of this KETO program….we had heard that bacon coming from pigs who spend an enormous time body surfing in pools of mud may not be the very healthiest food on the market.

All of this leads to the real subject The RANT wanted to discuss and that is how to make $250,000 each second as does Jeff Bezos of Amazon. I am uncertain if that number is accurate and have not done the math…..but, dear friends, when we meet again let’s take some time to see how we, as a viable member of the American Enterprise (that is not a Star Trek space module) can reverse a trend, ordering stuff ‘on-line’ that is virtually sabotaging our American way of life.

See you next time….

My very best,

Lew Lerner