Poppin’ my blogger’s cherry with just the tip.
First impressions are HUGE and as a blogger virgin, it’s pretty intimidating. Here we are, my first time, are you nervous? I know I am. Let’s take it to the next level.
Do you even know my name? I’m Lexus Bree, a 20-something-year-old woman who keeps to herself most of the time, reads too much, writes in a sappy private journal, and never conforms to the rules of “society”.
I falter over my own spoken words everyday, but with a pen in my hand I can let it all out. When I write, it becomes a way to liberate myself from the everyday thoughts that circulate around in my head. In my private written journal, I am allowed to embrace my hurricane type of mind, I am able to throw around thought after thought and smear my emotions all over the damn place. However, I now feel like it is time to start something new. I want to start composing blog posts, which means I have to carefully calculate each thought and emotion to make it into a pretty trail to follow into the depths of my mind.
For about 5 years I have bounced back and forth with the idea to create a blog. I always seem to hit a wall because I wasn’t sure about what type of “blogger” I wanted to become. I can only cook breakfast, so I can’t make a cooking blog. I only wear a simple T-shirt and yoga pants, so it defintely won’t be a fashion blog. I don’t understand this trend of contour makeup and winged eyeliner, so I am staying far away from creating a make-up blog. Shit, then what do I have to offer that can be typed up into words?
I’ve always had this burning desire inside to find my own way. I don’t necessarily mean getting in my car and refusing to use the GPS, I mean purposely seeking out paths no one has ever travelled before; yes, “the path less traveled”. Finding my own way has never been all pleasant walks on a rainbow with the sunshine on my face, I’ve had to face a lot of dark and stormy times. During those storms is when I found that writing would help me reflect on the things to better understand myself.
I have grown up facing a great amount of twisted obstacles and somehow over-coming each one. With each challenge I faced, I have learned…here it comes, the cliche quote of the century….“everything happens for a reason”. I had always been one to drown in tears of my frustration when something did not go as I had expected, but now those things come back around and it’s all starting to make sense why they worked out differently. Every time it comes back, I take in a deeper understanding and here I stand tying it all together, solidifying the very foundation that I have built my life on.
Moving forward, I have chosen to now share these experiences in hopes that some one out there can relate and that it will help them pull through whatever they are up against.
Life is like losing your virginity, it can be confusing at first, even a bit scary, and it can get pretty messy. But all you need to do is relax and find your own rhythm. It doesn’t have to hurt, sometimes all you need is to warm up, and not everything (everyone) will last too long.
So do we cuddle now?