Just Because They Are Different

Growing up, I was surrounded by people just like me. I was raised in the Christian church, and while it wasn’t necessarily by choice, I found myself surrounded by all straight, Caucasian, middle class Protestants. In high school, I transferred from a public school to a Christian school, where the only students there that were different were the ones forced out of the public schools for misbehavior. I continued college at a Christian university, and all throughout my life I noticed that there was a very subtle, unspoken mold that everyone needed to fit into. While people would be accepted even if they didn’t fit the mold, everyone would still look at them and treat them just a little bit differently.

I am so embarrassed to admit it right now… but I did too.

It wasn’t until this past year that I found myself immersed in the “real” world going through very real life struggles– struggles which I could not walk through alone– that the most beautiful people I have ever met or had the privilege to know walked alongside me. People that are like me and people that are very, very different than me.

Going through struggles together creates a bond. It creates camaraderie, a loyalty, something of an alliance. It’s from these deeply felt sentiments that I feel compelled to speak.

We are all human.

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I need to say this gently, because it even stings a little for me to let the words leave my fingertips. As Christians, we are not called to be the judges. We are not called to be the salvation givers. We are not called to be the correctors, the finger pointers, the Bible thumpers.

We are called to be a friend to whoever needs one. We are called to give generously to whoever needs it– whether it is a cold glass of water or the shirt off our back. We are called to love.

And sometimes we forget that. We get caught up in policy and laws and legalisms and we forget that even if someone is different than we are, they are still a human, as we are too. The difference from someone who is and isn’t a Christian isn’t that the Christian is superior. The difference is that the Christian has given their life to Christ and the other hasn’t… The breakdown is when we feel superior.

Or maybe we feel like its an us versus them kind of deal.

It’s not.

If someone is different, it doesn’t mean they are opposition. If someone is different, it doesn’t mean they are inferior. Last time I checked, God still loves us all the same.

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There is something very humanizing about struggle. It strips you of all accomplishments, all credentials, all the fine points of your education and resume. It strikes anyone, no matter the letters after their name, their social class, or their popularity. Struggle does not see the difference from one person to the next in the way that we might… And when you are in the midst of it, you don’t see the difference either. It’s an equal playing field when you realize that you need a friend to make it out alive.

We are all human. We all have struggles. We all have grief. We all have pain. Some pain may be greater than others, but all pain is valid to the person feeling it.

I am just as human as the next person. We may be different, but we feel pain and struggle in the same way. We need love and support and someone to have our back in the same way.

My heart is not to reprimand. My heart is to have the backs of my friends who I love dearly who are different than me. I see the pain they have experienced, and I ache. I hear the words that have been spoken to them, not about Jesus’s love for them, but about Jesus’s condemnation. I hear these things, and I know at my core that this is not the way… Love is the way.

Just because they are different, it doesn’t mean we should not love.

In fact, you are called to love others and called to care for others… I like to see it as just being a friend.

Be a friend to the person who is different than you. Whether they are different because of their religion (or lack thereof), their sexual orientation, their social status, their disabilities, their accomplishments or credentials, or even their morals.

As much as you are able. Love them. Care for them. Be a friend to them as much as you would to anyone else.

Just because they are different, doesn’t mean we should not love. Jesus calls us to love.

He calls us to be a friend. And the world needs more people that will be a friend.

Just because they are different… Love them anyway.

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Originally published at scribblesandcrumbs.com on January 5, 2015.