Equations

All things being equal, love and time play funny games.

Lengthening and shortening and stretching and shrinking with the heartbeat, as if living in another dimension we can’t see.

I don’t ask for the gestures or the flowers or the days of fireworks. The big chunks of show and tell.

What I want is the silent, steady presence of you.

The moments you aren’t paying attention, wordless and dreamy, are the ones in which I love you the most.

I count not in days but in minutes, seconds, blinks. The heart-flips and the held hands and the way you absent-mindedly but not unintentionally gravitate towards the small of my back.

I breathe deep and when I breathe deep I want to breathe you. Faintly pine-scented and filled with a sense of sameness that means you want to breathe me too.

All things being equal, love is sometimes time and time sometimes love.

Love is present and love is presence. I want you here in mind and here in body or don’t be here at all.

Attention is paid with the best intention, a silent bond that means those eyes stare back at me when I want them to.

In all agreement, I will be there when you call and make my time our time and our love my world.

Love bends those dimensions if you want it.

All things being equal, time kills love.

Focus or drift. Wander and suffer. Love is glass — deceptively fragile and painful when broken.

Without care, we all bleed, and the faster our hearts pump the sooner our blood drains out.

There is no inherent evil in pain but even the whitest of things get stained. It can take forever to wash out, forever to wash out if you can never remember to do it.

All things being equal our love is this time.

Whether we reach out and hold onto it is for us to decide.

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