Destroying your enemies
In today’s world it’s common that any time you amass any modicum of success literally any other person will be pissed about it, this is natural, so today I’m going to teach you how to deal with your #haters
Haters
I would define a hater as anyone who gets angry at you over literally anything you do. In my many years I’ve apparently attracted many haters, which undoubtedly stems from the fact that I’m unbearable as a person. So I’ve gotten pretty fucking good at dealing with it.
Murder: An option?
Look all I’m saying is theoretically you could strike down your foes. As in, it is “technically” a way of dealing with them. However it is also “technically” a crime, something I’m obligated to tell you not to do. Also have you ever watched literally any crime show ever? Your dumbass isn’t going to get away with it, you would make it like 17 minutes into an SVU episode before getting arrested. Also if you kill your enemies you’re really taking the L, because it means someone got you mad enough to gun them down. Don’t kill people please.
Blocking: no.
If you’re getting all riled up over someone talking shit on the TL, do not block them. That just fuels the fire and they’ll probably screenshot your block and then your life is over. Haters are like T-Rex’s, they can see fear or whatever, I only watched Jurassic Park once give me a break. Anyways, never show an ounce of fear or anger, keep your calm. Cyber bullying is a myth anyways, like the Loch Ness Monster, Snow, or the female orgasm.
Fight back
If you’re getting roasted on the dot com the best way to deal with it is to roast back, find balance in the savagery, some yin yang bullshit.
Look, I can’t teach you how to roast, it’s an art form you just have to come across in life. I’ll give you a few pointers however. Usually you start off by saying “boy” because this implies that your roast target is younger than you, and therefore, sucks as a human. Next find something really mean to say about someone, compare them to something people don’t like, or something that’s diminutive, it really doesn’t have to make sense, you’ll get the hang of it. An example of a roast could be “boy you look like an incomplete tax return forum” or “boy get out of my face ole’ dollar menu looking ass”
Prosper: flex baby flex
One of the best ways to avoid haters is to be absolutely successful in all ventures of your life. This is also a good tip for just being a human in general. If you’re overly successful your foes hatred to you is likely unfounded, ridiculous, and just makes them look dumb. One of the worst L’s you can take is for you to go after someone and for it to blow up in your face. Success speaks for itself people.
Your biggest enemy: you
One of the most quintessential haters to conquer is yourself. Seriously. If you’re getting flamed in the mentions most of the time it’s brutally unfounded, but ever consider the fact that maybe, just maybe, you’re a shitty person? Try examining yourself, and making sure you’re not an asshole to people who don’t deserve it, you’re kind and polite, you’re a positive presence in whatever environment you’re operating in. Seriously, if you’re a good person maybe people won’t hate you, actually what am I kidding they still will, but I can guarantee that percentile will go down if you at least try to be a genuine person.
Talk it out
Alright this is a rare piece of serious advice from me so pay attention, consider this: communicate with your haters. Sometimes someone’s hate might be caused by a misunderstanding, and just talking shit out with the person might actually aid your situation. Responding to anger with calmness and kindness will often result in the other person feeling bad, and if you make someone feel legitimately bad online you’ve basically won the Internet. Conquer your haters with kindness.
If all else fails
Thank you
Honestly I really appreciate you reading this stuff, it means a lot that I can produce content and that other people will think it’s funny, as always I’m not liable for anything that goes awry, don’t name me in the police report please. I always appreciate feedback on my work and I especially appreciate you all.
