I agree. From what I’ve observed and read, the problem for consensual partners in sex, whether long term or first time, is mostly in the conversation. Could be because there’s a general awkwardness, a lack of awareness about what both partners themselves need (how can I tell you what feels good if I don’t even know that about myself?), and (I believe this is most prevalent among women) an overly-fantastical and romanticized idea of sexual encounter. In short, people have an under-informed, under-educated, and therefore uncommunicative approach to an intimate process which by my experience is best when felt into and fully engaged.

Some might inaccurately simplify this as being “immature” or “too young”, but I personally believe that it’s a matter of how openly and consciously one approaches a sexual partner and sex in general. If you’re rushed, if you don’t speak, if you sort of blunder through it only to get yourself (and hopefully your partner) off, there’s amazing things being missed. And the “perfect” encounter is like the White Stag- mythical and rarely seen.