# Why do some men do everything for the women they don’t plan to be with?
And then grow cheap and lazy when it comes to having a real and meaningful relationship?
All my life I’ve been observing the behavior of men. I had many guy friends growing up and this helped me dive into their world and see things from their perspective (at least up to a certain level).
I’ve met all kinds of guys. And one common factor between a lot of them was that they didn’t think twice before doing things for women they had no intention in being with, while they were reluctant when it came to women they were actually serious about.
What do I mean by that? I mean men in their 20s / 30s, especially those with a successful career, would not mind spending lots of money on women (and friends) who were only around them because of that.
Chanel bags, expensive trips, all the best restaurants and nights out for women that were clearly there just because of what money could buy. And I don’t judge them, if you think that’s right for you — that’s right for you (and spend as much as you can, cause they deserve to be ripped off — that’s what they are asking for).
Years later, when these men get older and partying is not an option anymore, either because work got a lot harder or because money is a bit tighter at the moment, they decide it’s time to find a real partner (cause obviously the partying ones have vanished by then).
At this point, they want a “good woman”, someone who can pay her own bills and cook, someone who hasn’t slept with half of the town, someone who dresses at least a bit modestly. And, of course, someone who’s not gonna ask for Chanel bags.
After spending loads of money on fake friends and one night stands during their youth, when it’s “time to settle”, men grow cheap and count every penny they spend on a serious relationship, plus they get extra lazy when it comes to making a woman happy. They want a servant who can make life less tiring and miserable now that the partying time is over.
These men have spent so much money and energy on futile moments and people that they don’t have any more to invest in something real and meaningful. I bet lots of them have spent more on trips with prostitutes than they would spend on a honeymoon.
That’s when they choose budget hotels for trips, they don’t invite the girlfriend out, they prefer staying home and they obviously want the partner to save on everything possible.
I am dating an ex-bad boy, what now?
If you, my dear girl reader, bump into a guy like that, please RUN as fast as you can. You have built your life to be with a man who actually values meaningful relationships, not a womanizer who never refrained from spending tons in a strip club with his friends who don’t even call him anymore because he’s not there to fund their perverted fun anymore.
Go look for a guy who didn’t behave as an animal when he could have, a guy who values real friendships, a guy who either has a religion or follows a certain moral code, look for the good guy and marry him.
While I do believe people change, I also think that it’s really easy and convenient to play the regenerate once partying is not an option anymore after you’ve spent your best years with the “wrong people”.
Girls, don’t go for the ex-bad guy, invest in a good guy, a guy who really deserves you, who would treat you right when he has the option of being an asshole but chooses not to act like one.
Don’t fool yourself. When men want to marry, they go for the good girl. Even the bad guys go for the good girls. But they don’t deserve a good one. Good guys deserve you. Don’t fall into the trap of how fun ex-bad guys can be. Good guys are fun too, but only with the right women.
Never settle for the leftovers. Look for a guy who saved himself for you. Not in a sexual way. But, in general, a guy who always respected women and made good choices throughout life.
I know it may seem as I think men should be punished for their bad boy behavior even when they have “changed” — and that’s exactly what I mean.
Don’t think men are generous and will think bad girls make good wives. They won’t. A few of them might, but the majority will go for the good girls when they wanna settle. Women get punished FOREVER for being “bad”, so men should be punished too.
Think about women who have been exposed for having sex too early in life or for going out with lots of guys. What do men say about them? What does society say about them? Do they consider them marriage material? Should you consider a guy like that marriage material then?
And you should think just like them. If you wanna settle, go for the good guy, the respectable and presentable one, with a good past and good family values. This is the type of guy who deserves your time and your love.
Good girls should be with good guys. Bad girls should be with bad guys.
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Do you agree or disagree? Please leave a comment with your honest opinion.