Walking on the other foot

For the past few days, I have literally been walking on my other foot– the non-broken-toe foot. I’m learning a lot about how people react to a physical ailment* and let me break it down for you: it isn’t kindly.

*I don’t want to say “disability” because that is tied to a specific community and despite having another health concern that could be considered an invisible disability, I personally identity as able-bodied and don’t want to be culturally and/or generally insensitive to anyone who identifies as having a disability.

You might be wondering how I broke my toe to begin with, and the answer to that is horribly embarrassing. It all started when I noticed my toenail polish chipping. I’ll remove it and paint them again tomorrow, I said to myself, pre-shower. After my shower, I was on the phone with my sister and semi-pacing around my room, as I usually do while on the phone. When my sister heard me scream the f word, you’d think that was the moment I broke my toe. And, honestly, it probably was, but that is not the point here. The point is that I had a chance to paint my toenails before having to show my foot to people (you know, doctors and stuff) and I didn’t. Never make the same mistake.

Anyway, I really want to talk about how people have responded to my odd limping and slow walking. If you know me, you know that I am someone who walks very quickly. So quickly, in fact, that the only person in the world who has ever been able to seriously out-walk me is my dad, a man who works out 6–7 days a week, used to play soccer professionally, and consistently bikes many, many kilometres. Why do I walk so fast? I am an impatient person who never stops to smell the bakery (Bathurst station, I’m looking at you).

There is a right way and a rude way to respond to someone walking slowly/limping. The right way is what I normally do (obviously) which is wait until you have ample space to go around without entering anyone else’ space. The rude way is what 85% of people have been doing to me– push/gently shove the person limping on your way past them because you are too much of a selfish jerk to wait until you have enough space to pass and/or cut them off so closely that they end up putting extra weight on their broken toe to avoid walking into you.

I cannot fathom what type of person you have to be to see someone limping and then proceed to act in a way that can cause them further harm. WHY? Why would you do that, Chandler? Why? Why?

The question I’ve really started thinking about, though, is how someone with a physical disability manages to deal with this crap every single day. I have been in this broken toe pain for just a few days and I am already so frustrated with how inaccessible the city of Toronto is. There are staircases with no elevators pretty much everywhere. If there is an escalator, that helps me out a lot right now, but how would someone using a wheelchair find that helpful? And how do other people feel when they are stared at simply while walking down the street? If it’s anything like how I have felt, it’s very uncomfortable. No one should have to get used to that, just as no one should have to get used to getting cat-called while walking down the street.

This injury has also been really timely (things I never thought I would say) because there is a hashtag campaign on Twitter right now, #AbleismExists, and reading the stories of people living with disabilities makes you think about… well, things you probably don’t ever think about if you identify as an able-bodied person. I highly recommend checking it out, especially after walking on the other foot. (Okay I am trying to use the walk in someone else’s shoes metaphor here but it’s not the same so just pretend it makes sense, okay?)**

**It is also important to include other disabilities, but I was focusing on physical because of my personal experiences this week. Every disability is valid and important and everyone living with a disability should be able to access whatever is available to others.

Here are some I found particularly enlightening…

#ableismexists when your office mate discusses how unfair it is that her daughter’s classmate gets extra test time, is clearly ‘cheating’

— Kirsten Schultz NSSD (@Kirstie_Schultz) April 19, 2016

#ableismexists when the healthcare worker gives *me* the paperwork when we are done with my wife’s doctor visit.

— Stephen Drake (@StephenDrakeNDY) April 19, 2016

#ableismexists when the services needed to thrive aren’t given because you look “able-bodied”.

— Ciara Sprague (@CiaraSprague322) April 19, 2016

Read. Be enlightened. Be grateful you didn’t break your toe.

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