Network and Chill?
To network or not to network?

The quintessential question of millennials just entering the workforce. As a bonafide INTJ (if you’d like to read more about my complicated personality that I just found out today, click here), I’m innately introverted and I’d much rather network via LinkedIn from the comfort of my own bed and my two canine companions than go to a mixer event at a bar. Sound familiar?
Yet, it’s become engrained into our minds that networking is of the utmost importance in order to get a job. Summer internships are stressful as they are, but then we’re encouraged to network the crap out of our surroundings, adding even more stress and setting higher expectations. I knew from the beginning, that this would be an obstacle that would take me time to overcome.
So, imagine my thrill when I stumbled across an article called “Why I Stopped Networking” written by Lulu Xiao of Career Contessa. This last part of her article especially struck a chord with me:
“The importance of networking, networking, networking is declared over and over again in the working world, and I agree that it’s important (and great!) to know people at different companies or in different fields and roles. But what’s the point of knowing 500 people and only feeling comfortable reaching out to three of them?”
Xiao, I couldn’t have said it better. When I’m at these networking events, I feel pressured to become the most extroverted and bubbly version of myself; in reality, it’s extremely out of character for me. Additionally, I’m presenting an inaccurate representation of myself in an environment where we’re “supposed” to be building authentic and honest relationships. Oh, the irony.

In my opinion, there are some really funky things going on at these networking events:
- You approach someone because you’re potentially looking to benefit from their “relationship”.
- Likewise, the person you’re approaching also knows this.
- So there’s already a strange power dynamic established, and yet both sides continue to chit-chat and discuss what you’ve done at your job for the past 8 months.
- You try to subtly slide in the fact that you’re looking for a new job and “tired” of your old/current one.
- Finally, the conversation either naturally wanes off, or you (thankfully) spot the hors d’oeuvres and excuse yourself by mumbling something about how delicious those mini tarts look.
This whole process is more like a theatrical performance to me, and it baffles me how it’s our best bet of getting a job. Most of the networking events I’ve gone to have been advertised as “mingling” events or “happy hour”, so it’s been even more difficult to get into the career-focused mode and disregard the informalities of the events. I respect that these events try to make the events as informal as possible, because it’s true — meeting at a bar definitely allows for more authentic relationships than if these events were a formal business affair.

Nonetheless, I find myself wondering how much this event is really going to widen my network rather than just be another opportunity to grab a free beer. In the rare occasion that I actually make it to an event, I find myself glued to an entity that I’m comfortable with — usually a coworker or, you know, food. Then, cue my round of Escape the Room, where I try to find my quickest escape to get home.
Conclusion? There really isn’t one. I guess the advantages of networking depend on what kind of environment you’re in. I’m sure that there are several counter-arguments, and I’m eager to hear from those who are proponents of networking, but for now, you’ll find me on my couch curled up with my blanket watching NCIS.
PS. A bit of a side note, but I highly suggest that everyone find out their Myers-Briggs personality type. Personally, I feel like I just had 100 revelations about myself in just one day and it’s been a whirlwind.
