How great Your love is

(I’ve hesitated to be “too religious” on my blog, but these past few posts feel necessary. Thank you for reading.)

I always forget how stunning and fulfilling the Lord is. It isn’t until I’m absolutely exhausted and disgusted with my idols and sins, that I give up and devote all of my attention and adoration toward Him… I don’t deserve His love. None of us do. It’s a beautiful mystery that the King of the universe has the patience for us that He does. At times, I wish I could have washed His feet when He walked among us. There is no greater honor or privilege than to wash the feet of the One that lavishes such grace upon me.

Absolutely nothing satisfies the way He does.

I don’t consider myself evangelical at all, and I have a list of grievances with this expression of Christianity, but I have to admit that there are some amazing songs by evangelicals.

The two songs that I listened to today that put me in this worshipful mood are:

  • Your love never fails by Jesus Culture
  • Behold (Then sings my soul) by Hillsong Worship

In the first song, they repeat about 7x the words

You make all things work together for my good.

And it might seem silly and unnecessary, but for me, the worries and lies that I have and believe in, can really bog me down sometimes. I absolutely have to hear that piece of truth multiple times; it won’t sink in otherwise. At first, I just sing along, then it starts to sink in a little, then I finally start to feel true joy that the Lord truly does make all things work together for my good. No if’s, and’s, or but’s.

It’s the most beautiful and reassuring sentence in the universe.

Tonight isn’t the first time that I am floored by that small sentence, and I suspect it won’t be the last.

In the second song, I was touched by the verses about the Holy Spirit. I feel deeply saddened when I choose to do things my own way and disregard His wisdom and Words in Scripture, and that shame sometimes causes me to try to avoid the Lord as much as possible. On the one hand, I love sinning. Every Christian does. And on the other hand, I get teary when I think about how merciful and grand Christ is.

But, how comforting it is to think of the Holy Spirit in this way:

Behold… the Spirit breathing holy fire within. My ever present help, speaking truth when I can’t find it.
Light up this broken heart and light my way ‘til my time on earth is done.

I hate how fierce and difficult it is to follow Him. How can you love someone so much, yet relish the things that hurt His heart? Being overcome over and over by the same sins and lies is exhausting. But unfortunately, that is the case with myself and basically every Christian I know.

The end, thank you for reading. ❤️