People usually are disappointed with something. Their kids, relationship, work, their own lives. But what makes us so depressed and unhappy? The thing is that people are building boundaries for themselves every day on their life. And it makes them stuck, unfree.
What is the most satisfying thing in your life? Close your eyes. Imagine that view. Aren’t you feeling free, relieved? You are working wherever and whenever you like, you are with people you love, and nobody’s complaining about you, your behavior.
How to achieve that? Is it utopia? I don’t think so, but you need to be brave and sacrifice something in your life, that makes you unhappy, that you’ve achieved.
One of my favorite poems about a person’s freedom, and a person’s values is Rudyard Kipling’s “If.”
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!
I kept all poem for you to catch the context, but I bolded things I wanted to highlight.
You have to be bulletproof if you want to achieve your ‘greater good,’ your freedom.
So what you have to sacrifice if you’re going to be free?
Build your legacy with ease, do not put yourself in debt.
Did you need that brand new iPhone? Do you need Rolex to check the time? Ask yourself. If you are wealthy enough, maybe this is crucial for you and will make you happy, BUT ask yourself again.
The wealthiest people don’t have Gucci or Ferrari; they don’t give a shit about useless things. They donate. They are keeping a good relationship and making their legacy.
I think you shouldn’t buy shit for other people’s legacies. What about your legacy?
If your salary is $1500 a month, do you need some fancy shit because others have? Or just because you saw a new ad about a more elegant camera on the phone?
Build your legacy with ease; do not put yourself in debt.
Have you decided to have friends you are with now? Which is complaining about you or making rumors ‘bout you? Absolutely yes!
So, why you are still with them, listening to the same old shit every week? I think people sometimes are stuck with the same people. You are leveraging. You’re in a comfort zone because you feel you’re not capable of finding new people around you.
Try to listen to your inner voice. Think about every person you are dealing with. Think in detail. How do you feel? What would they say to you if you’ll tell them something huge about your evolvement? Are they supporting you?
Be honest with yourself. People come and go away.
Try to be with people that make you free. With people that are making you happier. People that you shouldn’t lie to prove how cool you are. People who’re making you a more unrestricted person.
Life is beautiful because of unlimited possibilities.
Oh… That’s a good one. Most of the time, I hear people complaining about their job. Even in the office. They are unhappy with salaries, bosses, pressure, everything and more.
Do you need to change? Or you are addictive from complaining? Answer that. Life is beautiful because of unlimited possibilities.
Try to make some hard decisions, exit your comfort, seek more. Create a vivid vision and execute it. Only while you feel stress, you will find yourself improving.
Anxiety in your daily routine will never improve you. It will secretly be poisoning you.
The most impactful thing that keeps us unhappy is past memories. I was incredibly stuck with my past during the last three years.
I was stuck with an attachment to my best friend, who is now living on his own, happy and without me. I was stuck with memories about love for my grandmother, which called me an asshole and not even once called me in 5 years. And finally, I was stuck with love for my ex.
Talking about exes, it’s challenging to imagine a person that you love with another person. You know what she or he likes and how he or she talks, but not with you anymore. It’s generally painful.
But there are only two ways to deal with it. You let it go, or you fight (if a person enables you to, of course).
You have to say to yourself every day, “Hold on!” And it’s difficult. You will cry, you will talk to that person, but it won’t be easy.
If you choose to let it go. All you need is time to connect with other people. There are nearly eight billion of them. There are apps to try new dates. Don’t stick with things that don’t make you happy. Let it go. And choose a new person wisely.
Of course, it’s easy for me to say that “you need time to forget,” but it’s true. It will be painful for two weeks at least. But it will go away.
Eventually, you will remember your ex, and you’ll be happy with another person.
Remember nobody is irreplaceable. Nobody. Even you. But if you stay selfish, and try to find freedom, you will discover the right person.
If you choose to fight for your love. You should not force it because it will make him or her farther from you. You need to have lots and lots of patience, and remember, don’t push. You will have to forgive that that person may be moved on, had sex with others, etc.
So, at first, ask yourself, is it worth it? Can you forgive? Do you have the patience to fight?
And what it takes to fight for your love, I will tell in another article in the future.
Past is a tough thing because it’s not unforgettable; it’s the way you are looking to it. Try to look at it positively and learn from it.
Even though you’ll have a lot of money, friends, spouse, kids, you are not necessarily going to be happy. You have to be free; you have to feel responsible for your life, for your surrounding.
Just shout, “I am free.”
Or you cannot? Because you are not alone and don’t want to look awkward. I believe that you are not free.