Repetition

As the weeks went of freshman year college went on, everything was the same. Monday would come and I’d already start my countdown till Friday. I’d go through the week dreading going to class and wondering my purpose of being here. I had a presentation within the third of classes in my freshman seminar course called “Global Warming Solutions.” I still question why I took a freshman seminar I didn’t have much interest in but I was in here anyway. I gave the presentation and received a “B.” To me, a B was a bad grade. Especially for something I put so much time and effort into. I didn’t think I deserved this grade and asked the professor why he did this to me. He told me he’ll give me the opportunity to redo my presentation and I agreed on that. I started the semester with chemistry being my favorite class until the second midterm. I did exceptionally well in high school chemistry but here I was doing absolutely horrifying in college chemistry. I was still in awe on how hard college was and confused why nobody ever told me. My sleep pattern started to get completely messed up and I was always tired no matter what. I felt like I was gaining weight because I wasn’t going to the gym as often as I did back home. Everything just felt like it was falling apart. Things that were important to me before started losing their value. I started wondering why I want to be a pre-med student when I can barely do chemistry correctly. I felt discouraged. Ashamed. Perhaps like a loser. I realized I needed to stop putting myself down and talked to my parents about what was going on. “My well-being is certainly not well,” I told my parents. They said they could tell and sat down with me to have a conservation. They said some great things that day. One of which I remember was that they said, “As long as you put your all into it, so be it.” These words have pushed me through to this 12th week of college. Remembering that I can only try and failing is just part of life. I have to accept the fact that I won’t always do extremely well in everything. Yes, maybe high school was easy for me to ace everything but it doesn’t work like that anymore. I might put 100 in and only get 50 back but all that matters it that I DID put that 100% in.