GUILDFORD LIDO

7th August 2016

The traffic was murderous on the way home from Strand Pool, so nosing off the motorway and heading for Guildford’s masterful lido to relax a little and let the traffic die down seemed like a good idea.

I even managed to park right outside the door, which given that the blazing sun was delivering temperatures in the high 20s seemed nothing short of miraculous. I was getting my bag out of the booth when I noticed them. Burly, black shadows of gloom loitering at the entrance. Security guards. Exactly what you might expect to see outside downtown nightclubs in a city that attracts too many stag and hen parties. The presence of bouncers has spread to pubs, including in my own small town where generally speaking ‘trouble’ constitutes a little reckless littering, the occasional stolen bike and a bit of boy racer activity along the esplanade. A few months ago there was a spate of car windows being broken over a few days and the whole town was in a state of shock about it. But it went as quickly as it came.

I avoid pubs with bouncers like the plague, even if I know them to be reasonable places. The presence of a bouncer on any given night screams ‘WE’RE EXPECTING TROUBLE! OUR STAFF CAN’T MANAGE PEOPLE!’.

So you might imagine my dismay at finding this phenomenon at a lido. Places I love for the air of freedom and peace. Bouncers do not say ‘come on in, the water and the welcome is lovely’. They say ‘we suspect you, our customers, of being ne’erdowells hell bent on violence’. So I put my bag back in the car. That’s not a vibe I want any part of, and I don’t want to spend money supporting it. I didn’t raise the issue with the staff, because these things are very often not their decisions and, well… bouncers.

But as I was there anyway I asked if I could take some photographs, explaining that I am co-authoring a user guide to UK lidos and the pool was looking its best in the sunshine. ‘No’. The young man was very nice in his refusal, to be fair; he explained it was because ‘we’re part of a bigger company, we’re not a stand alone pool’. As I wasn’t in a position to wait for four hours or so until the ejected the public I would have to email somebody and ask permission. ‘Could I have an email address?’ I ask, expecting that this ‘bigger company’ must have a welfare or child safeguarding officer if such a process is in place. The email address I was given was that of the marketing manager.

What has become of us that we need bouncers outside lidos in the home counties, and where marketing managers set / implement child protection policies? Nothing good, in my view.

I tweeted about this situation, and the manager of a London lido with a large site DM’d me to explain their rationale for using door staff. I was really grateful to them for taking the time to contact me, and I could see their point of view. We had a very interested exchange about it, and I always like a good bit of lido chat with the people who run the pools themselves. But I still don’t like the ‘we don’t trust you’ message that having door staff sends to customers. It makes me feel alienated and unwelcome in a world that is usually about inclusivity and welcome.

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