Divorce: How I Began To Rebuild After Heartbreak
Just after my daughter turned one, I asked my husband for a divorce. I sat across from him in our living room and tearfully shared that I was done, this marriage didn’t work for me anymore. I could barely look at him knowing the pain we would both go through. He stared at my blankly and said ok. My hands were shaking as I realized he too was done, he wouldn’t be begging me to stay. One month later he moved out of our home. I wouldn’t see him again until months later in court. My heart broke into a million small pieces. My whole life had revolved around my husband since I was 16. I was completely lost. How does one live without their best friend? What do you do? Who do you talk to at the end of the day? I felt paralyzed in fear and sadness.
Through my haze of depression and disorientation, I started dragging myself to eat dinner with my daughter at the local pizza place across the street from her daycare. At first, I’d stare at other families coming into the restaurant and choke back tears while sipping my wine. I’d have a smile pasted on my face for my daughter projecting an image that everything was fine…everything was not fine. However, after awhile I got to know the staff. When the waiters and the owner came to chit chat or would comment on how cute my daughter was, I felt less dead inside. It sure beat sitting home alone in the house where my marriage died. I began to feel hope.

Little by little I began to rebuild. I ran into a high school friend who I hadn’t seen in 10 years at the gym and blurted out in the parking lot “ I’m getting divorced”. She immediately took my number and shared she had recently separated from her husband and had a 3 year old daughter. When my neighbors asked me where my husband was, I shared with tears in my eyes that he had moved out and would no longer be joining us for dinners. They hugged me and suggested I come over regularly for dinners and evening walks around the neighbor. Again, I felt a little bit better.
I took a chance and made a new friend. She and I met at a local Kidville one day. She had a 2 and half year old and was also beginning her divorce process…would I like to exchange numbers and grab coffee sometime? YES.
At court mandated divorce class, my new friend ran into another high school friend who yes had a young child and was divorcing too. She was totally up for coffees and exchanging numbers.
As my confidence started to slowly return, I nervously asked my one of these friends and her daughter, would they meet me for pizza at this place across from my daughter’s daycare today? Yes, she should be there by 6 pm. So two, became four at the pizza place. I felt a less lonely, a little more lovable. My husband might not want to be with me anymore but this woman and her kid did. Pretty soon, four became six which became eight and then sometimes up to ten with new babies and boyfriends. A new family formed. A mom tribe full of love and support.


I now meet my mom tribe every week at the pizza place. This week we celebrated two of the mom’s birthdays. My daughter is now 2 and half years old. She ran into the pizza place confidently yelling for her friends, happy. I took a moment to pause and look around the table full of my mom tribe friends and felt happy. My tears of loneliness and my fake smile had been replaced with a real smile of gratitude. You never know with life.
I share this as proof that you can rebuild even after life’s biggest heartbreaks.
