How To Pick Up The Weird Chick
Most girls spend their whole lives whining about how no one likes them and that they can’t find a good guy. It’s annoying to everyone. We hear about it all the time. Someone is always stereotyping women for dismissing the nice guy and wanting the bad boy. Staying in a relationship with the wrong guy and how they never have anyone to talk to about their problems.
These are the same girls with constant DMs from the Quickie-Mart guy who wants to see their bobs and vagine. I guess if you have read this far you want to know why I would be writing about this and what this has to do with my abnormally normal topics. Let me tell ya!
On my facebook, which is private, I don’t put the city I live in and it says that I am single. My husband doesn’t put the city he lives in or that we are married either. We don’t really care if anyone needs it Facebook official. My Instagram also has no real personal information and is mostly cryptic writings. For the most part, we only get the occasional creeper sliding into our messenger. More often than not it is usually an Ex or a friend of an Ex trying to create unnecessary drama, on both sides. It is nice to be so memorable that after 4 or more years you are still trying to relive what you couldn’t hold on to.
A few times a year, I have to admit, a message from a group we have joined or page we have liked comes into play. We usually take it in stride unless one of us KNOWS it is trouble. We protect each other like that. Today, a Nigerian Prince slid into my messenger and said he would like to know me. Context, he is from one of my paranormal groups and I have been recently doing a lot of helping out with a couple of peoples EVPs and working on my own. So I thought that maybe he was interested in sending me some files to get my opinion on what he thinks he caught.
Public Service Announcement:
If you have not figured out that I am nieve and I know this, I have tried to change this and I don’t think it is a rectifiable situation please refer back to my other postings.
So here I am, in all my before 9 am dumbass glory, thinking Whoo Hoo I really must be making a name for myself. People have been responding well to my reactions to what I have been sent and they really respect my view. Uh-huh.
So I ask him what I can help him with. He says,” A relationship.” “Ok, Living or Dead?” “Living” Now I am in no way an expert on living relationships. I honestly can say I would be the last person you come to on advice when you have a question about treating people. It is not that I am not friendly, I’m not, but I am very direct and am better dealing with those that are dead.
So I ask him with whom, praying that some idiot isn’t going to have his ass handed to him before I have even had my damn coffee. Well, we all know the answer. This scrub has the balls to actually say, “ Someone special, someone special like you.” Now, I have to give him credit. His English is working for me so I can’t even pull out my red pen of shame and correct his message. Which for me is kind of satisfying since correcting English as a second language is as close as I will ever get to being a Grammar Nazi.
After my response,” Clearly, you have not been in the paranormal game long.” I have not heard back. Probably why you are now reading this. I really have a little bit more that I need to say.
Let us take this as a lesson on how to pick up the weird girl. Oh, Good title!
When you are dealing with the “weird chick”. I don’t care if she has black hair, blond hair, or rainbow hair you are going to be able to point out the Weird Chick. She might be in all black or IN THIS CASE be a member of a PARANORMAL GROUP! One must automatically assume that if she is deciphering otherworldly recordings that she might have seen a thing or two. She probably is close friends with a diety that you do not know about and has demons on speed-dial. She is one that can make a breeze when she asks because she has been doing this so long that energy manipulation is 2nd nature to her.
You wonder why at 40 her boobs look the way they do, that is why you asked for pics, Right? A fun day at the park for her is at 3 am in the shimmer of a full moon with a cup of sacrificed blood as she fully immerses in Hieros Gamos. The Moon guides her yet the Sun annoys her. Her ancestors praise her work.
You popping into her DMs is just gonna make sure that there is an anointed candle carved with your image and the Saints have gladly arrived in her circle to rain down the most abundant nerve-wracking pet-peeves. Do you need more?
Her alter will be arranged ever so slightly in the direction of your home, as you have so graciously given enough information in your Facebook bio that she can easily show up at your doorstep or anyone else for that matter. Now, remember you are the one who made 1st contact so there is no one to blame but yourself for what you have brought to your table.
It seems to me that someone of the religious background of African or Indian would have paid more attention to their upbringing they would not be so ready and willing to disrespect another by asking for bobs and vagine. Karma is a hell of a thing. Ask your grandmother who has a neatly adorned alter placed in the most noticeable area of her home.
I guess what I am saying is that when you try to shoot your shot just make sure that it is a mutual shot. Otherwise, you might just end up the focus of someone’s morning prayer.
I think it amazing how someone underestimates another's spiritual journey thinking that they can just try to take advantage of them in any way possible. Everything happens for a reason, I just may be your punishment.
But you don’t have to take it from me.
Let the Adventure Begin
