Playing the wrong notes

I consider myself a horrible pianist. I can make nice sounds sometimes, but I can’t really read music or play any standards. I can improvise a bit, but it always comes out a bit somber. I do attempt to play better, read music, or learn some popular hits, but I always make mistakes.

But that is where I go astray. I play a few chords or melodies, then hit a wrong note here and there. Most of the time they sound horrible and I start over again in my attempt to play piano. But every once in a while, I hit a wrong note that actually sounds interesting and then I play that mistake repeatedly and noodle around with it, until it turns into something else that has faint echoes of the original piece. It may seem like I’m playing piano, but I really don’t feel like I am. I’m just sauntering around the idea of playing piano and trick people into thinking that I’m actually a legit musician, when in reality I’m far from it.

It’s sort of like evolution, where genes get mutated from their original sequencing and over time a new species evolves. In my case the original sequence is some nice piece of sheet music, I mutate it (or should I say mutilate it) and it evolves into something different.

I imagine creativity works this way for others. It seems like a long aimless walk, but in end it does get you somewhere. Somewhere unexpected, sometimes beautiful, sometimes very ugly, but always truthful.