This Advice Helped Me Turn 5 Years Of Rejection From Women Into The Best Time Of My Life

Photo by Ryunosuke Kikuno on Unsplash

I picked up the phone and called my friend.

“Dude, another girl ghosted me again.”

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure. The usual crap. I go out with a girl once or twice, and then silence.”

I was depressed already, and another rejection out of hundreds fitted right into the mix of emotional issues.

I said, “I was trying to close the deal again and take her home.”
“Uh-ha. I see.”

My friend has been through all these mistakes. He saw right through all of this. “I think it’s obvious what’s wrong here.”

What he told me next was the beginning of a breakthrough I had been waiting for. It pains me even to write this:

“You’re too caught up in getting a result. Stop trying to get laid or to ‘get a fuckbuddy’. Get this idea out of your head.”

“What you should have done instead is, take the time to get to know the person in front of you. Try to appreciate her for what she is, and go with the flow.”

Damn it. A penny dropped. All this time, I was sabotaging my success and getting rejected by hundreds of women because of some bullshit I read online.

I had lost before I even began playing. Because I was operating from a place of scarcity and had this limiting belief, I never really had a chance in the first place.

I needed to let go. But I didn’t know how exactly.
Here is my friend’s advice:

”Throw away all of your condoms. All of them. Then go out on dates.”

Removing the option of sex and making it technically impossible forced me to let go. I was no longer sitting on dates thinking, “what will I say to take her home??” I was listening. LISTENING. I was actually there. Fully. I enjoyed every minute, and my date noticed it as well.
Now both of us were having fun.

What happened next blew my mind

I tried it on the next date I went on. The girl ended up inviting me to her place. I was shocked. Obviously, it was random, and not every girl I dated since then invited me over on a first date. But I knew I was onto something, and things would never be the same anymore.

But it didn’t stop there

The more I’ve let go, the more things flowed and the more fun I had. The more fun I had, the more I trusted myself, and the better I felt in general.
I trusted myself more and more, and this feeling of self-trust leaked into other areas of my life. The effect was amazing. I realized getting caught up in a result ruined everything.

“Am I dreaming? Is this real?”

A real change happened. It wasn’t just a “change” but a true transformation. I was turning into a different person. Dating wasn’t as rough anymore because I was acting like a normal guy and not like an idiot with a plan to get a girl into bed. The endless fun I had turned into the best era of my life.


Please stop trying to get a specific result with women and focus on getting to know them. With anything we want to achieve, we tend to become so busy getting the final result that we forget to let go and enjoy the moment. Life works way better when we let go of control, trust ourselves, and go with the flow.



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Jonathan Peykar

Jonathan Peykar


I write about relationships, getting women, and self-improvement.