I look at pictures like this often. Sitting in my office are various pictures from Picture People of the kids. They died on Thursday May 8, 2014, we were scheduled for that Saturday for the 2014 Picture People pictures. I pulled out boxes from the attic that very morning promising…

Many of you know that I have delved into the world of advocay of all kinds after Jesse and Bella died. I did not want their deaths to be in vain. Recently, I have been struggling with it though. I am not always fantastic about boundaries, I am a type…

It has been a very dark eight weeks, a slippery slope down the rabbit hole where my mind has been getting darker by the day. Tomorrow will be eight weeks since my surgery. Any doubts that the things that I do to keep my brain balanced were working, are gone…

After a death, there are many points in the calendar that will speak of the passage of time. Birthdays are one of them. Last year, there were many of these milestones that came and went, it was five years since their death, and Bella would have been ten. You have…

It is new years day, 2020, and a helluva couple of weeks. Two weeks ago, I had a hysterectomy. Before, I was very focused on finishing up work stuff so that I could concentrate on healing, and being close to Christmas, trying to get everything done present wise. Christmas is…

Yeah, I know, that is a variable title that pretty much sums up the present right now. I have a surgery tomorrow, a hysterectomy. For someone who has never had surgery before, this is my second this year, the first being a cardiac ablation. Yes, Jesse literally and figuratively broke…

I was doing “well,” which is always a relative term with me this past weekend. I had a long hard day yesterday, and we settled into watch a couple shows to defrag, one of which was Call the Midwife. So, normally we are prepared for a roller coaster of emotions…

What’s in a title you may ask? Well, for starters, a picture of a successful batch of caramel. As you read in my last blog, I had a job to get a hobby per my shrink. That statement is hilarious in itself as the whole point is to do a…

It never ceases to amaze me how time flies by… I got the worse cold I have had a couple of weeks ago, I think the last time I was that sick was 10 years ago. I actually took two whole sick days, sitting on the couch sleeping, reading, and…