Tradwives are fascinated by 1950s aesthetics — but beauty came at a price
From the Menosphere to Tradwives
I’ve been diving into the menosphere for my last psychology course. The menosphere is a loosely connected network of different men’s groups who hold moderate to extreme attitudes towards women. Laura Bates explains what these groups are about and what they have in common in her book “Men who hate women”. She has done an impressive job in her analysis and this book is worth reading — not just when it comes to these groups, but for anyone interested in understanding the process of radicalisation. Within the realms of the menosphere, I witnessed contempt for women, mixed in with pseudo-scientific arguments on womens one and only true fulfilment laying within the upbringing of children and their role as the homemaker.
It was only natural that my algorithms would suggest to me videos of tradwives and stay-at-home girlfriends praising the traditional roles of women. Tradwives, the short form for traditional wives, dedicate their lives to family and home. Cleaning, cooking and all other household chores are a woman’s purpose. A tradwife submits to their husband, prepares his food, lays out his clothes and kisses him goodbye when he leaves to work. She then cleanes, washes, goes to the grocery store and waits impatiently for the man of the house to return. Tradwives are attracted to this way of living. It portrays the picturesque vintage-scene of a 1950s advertisement, when the world was still ‘whole’. When there was structure, order and clear roles.
The 1950s advertisement appeal
Smiling women in swinging dresses, eagerly preparing meals in the kitchen. Voluminour hair in the perfect up-do, red painted lips. Flawless skin and a slim waistline. Colorful images and a powerful message: The ultimate joy for any and every woman lies in getting dressed and fulfilling her duties as the homemaker. Smilingly, of course.
I am an eager collector of vintage clothing. My wardrobe covers red polka dot dresses, flowery long pink dresses, yellow swinging A-line dresses and an abundance of petticoats and hair-accessories. I love baking, make-up and precise eyeliner application. The aesthetics of popping-colors in fashion, of eloquent conversations in the movies and the overall more civilized and sophisticated attitude I associate with the 50s is delightful!
The 1950s were shaped by popular culture. The ideal suburban housewife covered every magazine. She is the beautiful, perfectly dressed, stylish woman. Her personal fulfillment were her duties as a devoted (house)wife and mother. In the U.S., the economy was flourishing and disposable income made it possible for middle class families to spend their money on luxury items or vacation. The income of one partner was often enough to cover the expenses of the complete household.
Young girls were expected to get married early. Those who went to university were expected to terminate their studies after marriage. The idea of the nuclear family before all else pressured women to fall in line. Finding a husband was advertised as the ultimate goal and tips were given in womens magazines — and of course on families kitchen tables. A “MRS.” degree mockingly described those young women who attended university. Rumor had it, that the only reason for a female to attend university would be to find a spouse.
The 1950s were a time of many pleasures; Gathering in diners, dancing, open air cinemas. Movie stars such as Grace Kelly, Sophia Loren, Maryling Monroe and Audrey Hepburn strolled the screens. Marlon Brando, James Dean and Humphrey Bogart were the ultimate depiction of true masculinity. Indeed, the 50s seem like a time a time where the world was in order.
But there was a price to pay — a price that would not be talked about.
The 1950s downside for women
Women were not allowed to buy real estate, which made it impossible for a woman to buy a house or apartment herself.
Happy homemaker and stay at home mom? — A dream for some, but not for all. Many women, who worked while their husbands were gone during the War, refused to return to their roles as housewives when their husbands returned. Some women simply did not feel the fulfillment expected of them. Some housewives were lonely and became depressed. Alcoholism and the use of tranquilizers, such as Atarax and Miltown, were not only common, but recommended for stressed, frustrated or sad housewives. Barbiturates, used by WW2 soldiers, was praised as “mother’s little helpers” by magazines like Cosmopolitan. Up until the early 1950s, the horrendous procedure of drilling a nail into the prefrontal cortex, into the forehead, has been praised to treat people of schizophrenia and mental illnesses. The procedure, called lobotomy, has been used to a disproportionate amount on women. A study in 1951 found that more than 60 % of american lobotomy patients were female. If that is because of the stigma of the hysterical female, personality disorders or due to depression is unclear.
Marital rape and domestic violence were “family matters” and therefore not punishable by law enforcement. Women could be beaten up by their partners and call the police in order to be helped, and if the husband were on good terms with the patrolling officers, they would leave after the abusive husband laughs the incident off by belittling the wives call as a hysterical attempt for attention. (In “Can’t hurt me”David Goggins recalls his childhood memories, where exactly this happened) While crime rates were very low in the 1950s, domestic violence was common — and not recorded. Women’s most frequent visits to the hospital were because of domestic violence. Women were not protected, and due to not being able to own property, they were left unprotected in abusive marriages and could not just simply move away. The economic dependency left some women desperate and in a place of helplessness. Women were often blamed for being the victim of domestic abuse. After all, she must have provoced her husband in one way or another. This shifting to victim blaming is as old as women’s history itself. The psychological effect this responsibility-bearing had on the victims was tremendous. The stigmatization of divorced wives was a further repellent to end the cycle of abuse.
The 1950s — a glamourous time with disadvantages for women
The 1950s were a time of glamour, luxury, fun and colorful fashion. The perfect nuclear family was valued and shows a time when things used to be in order. Everyone had their role to play, all were happy. But a look behind the curtains revealed that it was not all picture perfect. Working class families and minority groups had struggles that go way beyond the spheres of the family. White middle class families were expected to be the ideal nuclear family. The order of men working outside and women doing labour at home was socially promoted and expected. But it left women in abusive relationships without protection, it left women financially dependent, it left women unable to own their own car or apartment. While some women may find fulfillment in dedication to house and family, there is no one fits all. Some women refused to leave the workforce — leading to the revolution that now allows women to decide. Home, Family, Career or all.
The tradwife trend wants to bring the 50s back — but the 50s is not just homemaking and cute dresses. Tradwives are displaying a caricaturist version of what it meant to be a woman in the 50s. The 50s, as beautiful as they may have been in many ways, had their own share of issues. Ignoring the bigger picture undermines women’s struggles and courage within this time.
