Thoughts on Chris Cornell

It’s 4:24 AM on May 19.

It’s been a while since I wrote about anything.

It used to be that I’d start writing around this time because I couldn’t fall asleep at night and I’d have a handful of thing running on repeat in my brain.

Now I’m up because, like a good boy, I went to bed around 11 AM last night (still early for me) and I woke up about 3:45 and realized I’m too awake to fall back asleep.

A little over a month ago I started working a full-time gig after being a free-lancer for nearly 10 years. That freedom in my work schedule allowed me the time to pursue my musical dreams and I got to do some traveling and see some places.

Yesterday on the way in to work I saw Chris Cornell had passed away at 52 and was both shocked and saddened. Selfishly, it was a few days ago when I realized I had missed Soundgarden playing in Atlanta at the Fox, and I was bummed because I would never get to see them play.

I’ve been making the rounds in the past few years of seeing bands/artists who were influential to me that for whatever reason I’ve missed seeing over the years. I’m 99.9% sure I saw Audioslave at Lollapalooza when it toured through Atlanta in 2003, but that was so long ago I barely even remember.

I’ve been doing a #SingEveryday challenge on my instagram account and so I performed a bit of “Burdon In My Hand” and posted it. Afterwards I started scrolling through other peoples posts. Someone said something to the effect of “don’t know why you did what you did” and I immediately shot up and went to my computer for more information.

I was stunned to learn it was an apparent suicide by hanging.

It was maybe a week or two ago I was listening to The Band and recalled how Richard Manuel had hanged himself on tour, and to learn Chris Cornell had done the same thing just seemed unfathomable considering the different circumstances.

But, I suppose that’s the reality: it’s not suppose to make sense and no one but him will understand what was going on in his head. I’m sure more news will come out in the future and pieces of the puzzle will be filled in.

When I started singing Chris Cornell was one of the people I would try and test myself against. I was listening to some of his music yesterday and it reminded me of that.

I don’t want to close with anything cliche like “He’s in a better place” cause who knows, but for those people out there who were close to him my heart goes out to you.

-L.Ray

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