It’s around 3 A.M. right now. I’m on my couch, and my roommates have gone to sleep. Usually around this time of the night (morning?) I’m just casually browsing YouTube and I was hit with a wave of adulthood. If you don’t know what I mean by that, you’ve definitely felt what I felt just now though. It’s the feeling you get when you realize you’re OLD. It’s the feeling when you look back and remember a moment from when you were 14 and think to yourself “Where did all the time go?” As I was on YouTube, I stumbled upon the song “Lighters” by Bad Meets Evil feat. Bruno Mars. It was released in 2011. I’m not a big fan of the song, but it hit me with full-on nostalgia because I hadn’t heard the song in more than five years. It was an instant throwback. I quickly searched up “top hits from 2011”, and I found myself on the Wikipedia page for the Billboard Year-End Hot 100 songs.
As I read through the list of songs, all I could think to myself was “Damn, I’m getting old.” I didn’t feel nostalgic per se; I just felt really, really old. I remembered listening to that song “Lighters” on iHeartRadio’s website while I played video games back in freshman year of high school. I still remembered a lot of the lyrics. It’s just crazy because it literally felt like no so long ago. But in the five years that have passed, I’ve become a completely different person. I guess this is just one of those things that no one ever tells you about growing up. Time flies. Things pick up real fucking fast. These past 8 months of my sophomore year of college literally FLEW by. You truly don’t know what someone means by “it went by fast” until you experience it yourself. And I guess that’s why I feel like 14 year old me was not so long ago — time flew by so quickly it became hard for me to distinguish how long ago something happened. It honestly feels like I didn’t even go through freshman year of high school — it’s just some memory that someone implanted in my brain.
But I guess the moral of the story is if you don’t look back every now and then, you’ll miss the good stuff. Like the first time you discovered your favorite song, the first time you picked up a sport, the first time you kissed someone, the first day of college, etc. I guess all I can do now for the future is to just brace for it. It’s going to hit me hard.