Dispatches From The Juice Cleanse — Day 1

Stupidly, I thought starting a juice cleanse would help me feel invigorated, rejuvenated and healthier. In fact I don’t love the juice and I really want a pizza, and to not pee every five minutes.


The juice cleanse I did and all the information about it can be found here: http://www.jusbyjulie.com

Morning Glory

Sunday 7:30am Juice 1 — The day started with “Morning Glory” or as I like to call it “Green Goop #1." It is a blend of romaine, celery, spinach, apple, kale, banana, strawberry and water. It’s kind of thick, and goopy. At first I thought, hmm not bad. Three days of this will go by without a problem. Three gulps later I was taking baby sips of the juice with huge gulps of water in between to cleanse my palette. This juice is the first one I have to drink every day, but it’s not terrible, with enough water I can tolerate it.

Spicy Pome-nade

Sunday 10:00am Juice 2 — At some point in the morning I get a snack juice, this pretty much means that I never stop drinking. Today’s was “Spicy Pome-nade,” seeing as I am not a huge lemonade or pomegranate person, I did not have high hopes. It is a blend of pomegranate, lemon, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water. It went down smoothly and had a nice kick. Unfortunately I only have one of these during the three day period and I drank it today. But the second juice for tomorrow looks just as good. After juice two I am batting .500.

Sweet Spin

Sunday 12:30pm Juice 3 — For lunch I get another green juice. Awesome, I liked the first green goopy beverage so much, I just cannot wait to see what this green goopy one is! This juice is called “Sweet Spin” and I’m kind of getting a kick out of these crazy names. Unfortunately as I was drinking this goopy green beverage, everyone around me was enjoying pizza which only made this taste worse. It was a blend of spinach, kale, pineapple, banana, mango and water. It actually tasted much better than I thought. And with the help of a straw I was able to get past the goopy consistency.

Acai Blend

Sunday 3:00pm — It feels like all I do is drink juice, pee, then drink some more juice. I may have peed more today than I have in all of 2013. But I guess that’s what 96 oz of juice a day does to you (plus the water I need to wash down some of the juice I don’t like.) The midday snack was “Acai Blend” and it resembled a smoothie. It was a blend of acai berries, strawberries and banana. Something I’ve noticed, all of the juices contain banana. I liked this one a lot, it was sweet and tasted like something that people actually eat. It is definitely my favorite of the thicker juices.

Island Coconut

Sunday 6:30pm — The dinner juice. With a name like “Island Coconut” I was excited to try it. Fun fact: coconut meat is a thing and I do not like it. The blend of coconut meat, water, date and cinnamon is not a combination that I enjoy. In fact, after my first sip I thought ‘dear lord I would rather chug bottles of cough syrup instead of having to finish this.’ But I’m a trooper and thankfully I only have one bottle of this one. By far this was my least favorite of all the juices. It had a milky consistency and I don’t like any of the ingredients. It was worse than cough syrup.

Sweet Spin

Sunday 8:00pm — The final juice of the day is another “Sweet Spin.” While it wasn't my favorite, it isn’t the worst thing I had today. I think that I drink two of these everyday. My second bottle of “Green Goop #2" went down uneventfully and I am officially 1/3 of the way through this ill advised juice cleanse. I don’t feel bad, but I definitely wouldn’t say I feel invigorated. Hopefully tomorrows juices will go down smoother and I won’t want to auction off my first born instead of drink 16 oz of some liquid.

For day 2 of the juice cleanse, click here.