IV / Gnashing Without

Original artwork by Author, Lila Debas(website, instagram )

I know who you are

I know where to find you

I know how to reach you

I know what I’ll get

At night

I am still but not still enough

I hear the rain rusted gears of the machine

It won’t stop

even if it wears itself

down to a jigsaw of pearls

I hear the rain rusted gears of the machine

Gnashing its teeth in urgency

I know you are the grease to stop this

The Machine is a dog scratching at the door

Sniffing through the cracks of my solitude

Making me aware of all I am not

I listen to it scrambling legs

I hear its heavy skull and cumbersome limbs tripping over one another in its

Fromadistance

Seeminglyinconsequential

Pursuitofanswers

Butmoreimportantly questions

The dog is a dog

Tender when dealt with tenderly

Always in pursuit

Always looking forward

Chasing the tip of its nose to the source of its meddling

Gnashing its teeth in urgency

All of its racket only making me explicitly aware of the origin of my silence

The crux of my petrified diction

I am the dog

I am the Machine

I am without you