thank you frank

feel both sides like chanel. feel both sides like chanel. i have been. ive been putting myself in others shoes more than ever before. its a crazy feeling. a homeless person i see everyday at the bart station. to have the frail body of an elderly homeless lady would feel very different than the body i am in now. what would my mind be like. what would i be thinking about. my parents. they’ve watched me grow up. they raised the smaller version of me a long time ago. they spent so much time on me. i am forever connected to them as people for the rest of my life. they have affected everything i do. some will say that’s not good. but its true because the thoughts i had and developed growing up came from external stimulation controlled by them. my thoughts were changed. our thoughts make us up. everything we believe is what we think we know. we think that we are who we are. cause you are who you are. and i am who i am. false. its who i think i am. who do you think i am? who do they think they are? WHO do, they think, they, are?

whoever they think they are, is who they think they are. and thats just a fucking fact. i was crossing the baybridge and i looked out at the water. it was completely black and it blended into the sky for an infinity lookin landscape. the cargo ships were out there. and i was like damn. those things really be comin in and out of the city all damn day. all our shit gets shipped over here. how many people does it take to get small things i get at the store everyday. the silverware set i bought for the office was made in china. how many people are employed to get that fork to me. how many people touched it in the process. why isnt this something i think of everytime i buy something. should it be? is it a productive question to ask? or is it something that is easy to dwell on and thinking about it wont have any true positive outcomes because of it. hmmmm. idk. i think it helps ground you to the world and the extreme connections we have made as humans to live the way we do. thats some logistic shit right there. the future is now.

yo the future is now tho for real for real. im seeing how quick this shit is moving now and its freakin me out. im noticing more and more things happen that couldnt happen just a few years ago. im talkin small shit too. like my friend put his phone screen onto the tv screen. not just youtube on the youtube app or anything, i mean the background and everything for texting and shit too. it was dope. you people seeing these iphone 7 pictures? that shit is insane. i have never seen a phone do this shit. i remember my first phone in 6th grade. that was 12 years ago and that shit was the nokia brick phone. look how far we’ve come in 12 years. its incredible. appreciate that shit. be happy you get to have a phone that has these capabilities. be happy everyday if you have one of those little mother fuckers.

these are all of the thoughts that i remember from the last few days. im tryna be more zen. i was at a concert and people were really bumpin into me and shit. hahaha holy shit that was for real. i really just typed that out tho. i gots a long way to go tho. you know tho. im tryin tho and im makin strides tho. i live in two worlds. i live in one outside myself, and one within. the one within is inside my brain. it is made up. it is the one i have almost complete control over. i can usually think about what i want. i cant always do what i want. thats the outside self. thats what i have to get done in the real world. there are many more obstacles that my outside self has to maneuver around. i try to balance my time between my inside self and my outside self. actually, im trying to combine the two. thats the key actually. i just remembered. i had read this and ive been trying it out and when i can get it, it works. consider yourself one. there is no inner or outer self, although that is a good way to describe the two main perspectives we have. we should focus on THE self. every thought we have is part of who we are and everything we do is part of who we are and together that makes up the one self. it’s still two parts, but together, they make up one. you are the one!

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