How to Beat the Trap of Comparison

I have compared myself to models, to women who are blond (because I secretly also like that color of hair), to preachers, pastors, women leaders, etc. I totally understand so let’s not avoid the topic of comparing ourselves with each other.

On today, I want to share about the lessons I’ve been receiving in the area of overcoming comparing myself to others. This is something that comes and goes. I definitely have noticed more grace to do anything I can to keep myself away from the comparison trap, here they are:

1. I find that we need to change the mindset of comparing to really getting to know the person you are comparing yourself to. I have found myself very uncomfortable but also blessed. So, do your best to know about the person. Ask them for advice in their area of expertise. It might help destroy any walls of jealousy and cultural differences. Ask God (if you believe in him) to help you be genuine and honest in your pursuit to getting to know the person more. You will later find out that the person is not as “perfect” as she or he might sound or look.

2. Many times, the person you compare yourself to, has an important story she can share with you, so just ask. When you allow yourself to learn from that person, it will change how you see that person.

3. If the trap of comparison has been eating your time, I recommend to avoid social media and watching the news or even watching too much commercials might be unhealthy. Do these things to re-gain respect in yourself (because you really matter) and regain the time you lost in comparing yourself.

4. If you can, try to fast from social events or getting together with people that can easily tempt you to have toxic comparison habits. You can simply pray that God will provide a way out for you to not have to talk to that person you find yourself comparing yourself to.

5. Pray for you and the people you have been comparing yourself to. Because believe me, everyone needs prayer! She or he might also experience comparison tendencies, you never know.

6. Sometimes, comparison roots come from feeling insecure, not good enough, and finding your worth in the wrong places and people.

7. Journal about your feelings and a gratitude list everyday. Make it a habit, gratitude lists will remind you of what you currently have in your hands.

8. If you haven’t read the bible, try reading Proverbs

9. Rest and go away to your favorite place. Refreshing times are needed to be reminded of what really matters.

10. Notice what makes you unique. Notice what you like about yourself, get to know your talents/gifts, and get to know who you are. If you are having a hard time in this area, you may need to ask people you trust this question: “What am I good at?”

If you believe in God, ask him that question, it will help you trust in him, instead of waiting on people to recognize you.

11. There may be something in a person you don’t see in yourself, that you want to have. I suggest praying for God to show you how to compliment or appreciate what that person does. This will help you to not focus on comparing.

12. Be aware of what triggers you to compare yourself to certain people. Is it around certain friends? Is it around certain family members?

13. Be more selective about who you choose to be friends with.

Try to choose friends who encourage you and keep you accountable to complete the God-given dreams in you.

A hint: choose friends who ask you about what they know God called you to do. These friends know your uniqueness and won’t tell you to do things their way.

Choose friends that won’t push you when you are in a season of rest and not knowing a lot. Having friends who push you into different directions may trigger the trap of comparison. Be wise.

Hope these tips help you! I really enjoy writing, so will try to do so on here when I can.

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