Photo by Varshesh Joshi

Queer Culture Hasn’t Lost Its Edge, It Just Grew Up

Lilith Dyke Gragg
Aug 8, 2017 · 3 min read

In a recent article, Professor Cynthia Belmont of Northland College bemoaned the loss of queer culture’s “edge” and its possible demise. The subhead of her article read: “My young queer students are fragile, easily triggered. Is the playfulness and toughness that once defined us gone?”

No, Dr. Belmont, queer culture is not dying or frail. We just realized there are things more important than being the cool kids.

While you bemoan the death of radical queerness and judge students for their concerns over your vocabulary, the rest of us are fighting for more than a fun party with our queer friends. We’re fighting for our lives and the lives of our friends in more direct, albeit less exciting, avenues. Our brothers, sisters, and siblings picketing on Capitol Hill and writing to their senators are doing far more than any underground party in LA ever did. And, Professor, when you talk about Stonewall, you speak as if it were a giant celebration, not a riot against brutality and hatred. Have you forgotten what the queer community has always stood for?

This is especially striking when you write about victimhood. Whether some people play up their victimhood or not, the vast majority of the queer community is consistently victimized. We do not celebrate victimhood- we have just realized that it is something we share and something that we can all help each other through. We are no longer the community that would shun an HIV-positive man, or cast one of our own out of a safe space because she has experienced sexual trauma. We instead struggle together, with as much transparency as we are comfortable with giving. It is not a fetish or a mark of rank to be a victim.

And this obsession with toughness- Dr. Belmont, please. The critique of the younger generation (read: millennials) as sensitive is old and tired. Idolizing toughness has deep roots in toxic masculinity and promotes a hatred towards those who haven’t been fortunate enough to develop a thick skin. Moreover, I don’t want my peers to need that tough skin. When I look at my queer friends still in middle and high school, the last thing I am hoping is that they have learned not to trust anyone. I want them to be “sensitive” because it means they have been happy. When you say, quote: “And if you didn’t have a wit, a sense of humor, then you didn’t get it. You just didn’t,” What I hear is that you excluded people just because they didn’t share your “toughness”. And have you ever confronted the fact that much of your toughness has probably come from your privilege? Maybe, you were not offended by jokes that erred on the racist, transphobic side simply because they don’t apply to you? Just a thought.

Queer culture has changed for the better, for all of us. You and I both have always had a relatively safe position in queer culture as cisgender white women, but the same cannot be said for our non-white, transgender, and otherwise oppressed queer friends. Can you truly be a judge of whether or not the “playfulness” you reveled in back in your prime was as empowering for the rest of the rainbow? The “edge” that gave you power may have cut our more vulnerable peers deep.

By the message of your article, you would trade the comfort and support of our comrades for a bit of fun. I am not willing to make that trade, and neither are most of the queer people in this generation. We are trying our best to move past our community’s old ways for a chance at lasting change.

Moreover, your entire obsession with this “edge” is strange, and your bashing of normalization strikes me as juvenile and not particularly well thought-out. Of course the modern queer community wants normalization. Normalization of queer lives and bodies means no more hate crimes, no more #sayhername for our lost sisters, no more living in fear for any of us.

So, yes. Queer culture has lost some of its edge. We traded it for a hope that maybe within your lifetime, Dr. Belmont, we can see justice for the whole community, not just you and I.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade