10/20/17


today i wrote three words on my arm:

strong

willed

young

and right now it seems that’s all i want to be


see the parts of songs that hit me the hardest are the calm within the storm or the storm that finds a way to interrupt the calm but when i listen to them i can’t do anything else because i am entranced


even now i hear my mom’s car coming down the street. and maybe it isn’t even her, but a part of me is so afraid to write anything that it wants to believe she’ll walk in and i’ll stop


i keep wishing i could write more about love because love makes people create such amazing things. but there is no love that deserves my words right now. i need to end this saga of poems about the girl who i saw today and walked in the opposite direction of. she doesn’t deserve this art. i am tired of handing it to her.


i want to write a poem about how much i love my generation but i realize the wrong people will hear it for the people i love are the ones who don’t even know my name


it’s been three months since i’ve seen my sister and i never realized how much it took out of me until i was laying in bed at 5:00 tonight and wishing she was here


i smelled smoke when i walked upstairs thirty minutes ago and there was no panic. i don’t know what i felt. there’s no energy left for fear. maybe that’s good for me.


i’m trying i swear. i just lose sight of where i’m going because i am so afraid of where i am. someone teach me to be fearless.


i sat down to write and couldn’t. all i did was complain. who am i becoming where is the girl i knew why has she left me i need her i need her i need her


please talk to me. tell me about your day. rant to me. i want to hear it. you’re the best person in my life. please.


i’m tired. but i will likely stare at my computer screen all night and pray that sleep will find a girl who isn’t looking for it.