It’s so much easier to focus on what’s missing than what’s present and readily available. When you miss out on an event, your mind does what it’s accustomed to. It withdraws from reality and explores every enclave of a parallel universe. A universe in which a more outgoing, exuberant, enchanting version of you is at said event. You, in a blissful euphoria, experiencing things that you never thought possible, meeting the most interesting of people, having the time of your life. Something shakes you out of it and here you are again, in this world, time quietly ticking by as you contemplate the solitude of your bedroom. Suddenly, this very same room becomes a shade bleaker. The view outside — dreary. Boring. Your reflection in the mirror — tired. Your heart sinks.
Without actually going anywhere, you whisk yourself away. To a place that won’t and never will exist, except for in your mind, as long as you allow it there. Every time you believe your fear of missing out, you already are. Every time you worry about what could be but isn’t. When you study the idyllic Instagram feed of a person you don’t even know and long for it to be yours. When you measure yours against theirs and punish yourself by thinking less of your own life. By feeling ashamed of your own accomplishments, which by comparison, now seem small and inconsequential. You do, in fact, miss out.
You miss out on an opportunity to observe yourself become triggered and carried away by emotion. Every time you let yourself go there, a tiny fraction of your self-worth, your sense of identity, becomes more fragile. The ground your feet are planted on becomes a little bit shakier. You miss out on a moment you’ll never get back — this one. The one where nothing exciting happens, but where life hums all around you. The clock ticks and the objects in your boring bedroom, that you arranged with care, stare back at you just as you left them. Your entire day stares back at you, expectantly, excited for you to show up.
Next time, try looking forward to missing out. Try looking at it as a warm invitation to stay right here.
