Smashing

Winter Waves — Blue Green Ombre by Julia Di Sano

Alone is not
 Lonely
 But that line
 Blurs into the
 Blue/green haze where
 My energy
 Meets yours.
 
 Alone is a
 Decision,
 A choice,
 But why does that
 M e r g e?

Lonely tips and
 Spills itself
 Into that decision
 Until I’m no longer sure
 If I made one
 Initially.
 
 Alone is I,
 Me,
 Sitting undisturbed,
 Enjoying the fucking
 Peace.
 
 Alone is safe.

Alone is a
 Barrier;
 A sheath around
 My heart that
 Stretches and rips
 At the most
 Inappropriate
 Moment.
 
 Alone breathes
 A deep sigh,

A longing,

An ache.


Lonely’s laughing;
 Engulfing and
 Swallowing with
 Smug satisfaction
 Although I’m not entirely
 Sure what Lonely is
 Trying to
 Achieve.
 
 “Acknowledge me!
 Love me!”

 It shouts.

What wonderful imperatives.
 
 But where does that leave us?
 A bag of insecurities;
 Rattling around our
 Empty homes,
 Night after night.
 
 No longer Alone.
 
 Just longing.
 Just aching.
 
 Blue/green
 Blue/green
Just be fucking turquoise already.

2nd March 2012.