This is one of the most heartfelt posts I have read in awhile. Thank you for having the courage and honesty to write it. I can certainly relate to the feeling of worrying a lot, obsessing about the future and the things I cannot control.
Like yourself, I sometimes find myself letting pride get in the way of happiness. Pride is something that can throw anyone off course and make them pursue the wrong things.
It’s easy to tell oneself: “don’t worry about how you measure up to others, focus on yourself.” To actually follow it, to actually not let pride get in the way, that’s a different story.
Keep in mind that we are our own biggest critic. Once we learn to give ourselves the love we deserve, everything else will fall into place. :)