Exploring Filial Piety
— ‘Respect, Appreciation, Caring, Obedience’ —
— Four integral aspects of filial piety. —
Filial piety (孝, xiào) is considered the most important moral of Confucian values. It is a deep-rooted sense of honour, loyalty, respect and devotion to our family. Filial piety is the root of all ethical and moral codes that are developed in our lives overtime. The family is the first institution that we are a part of and it shapes us for entering and being truly ready to participate in other areas or institutions of life; it is the building block of society. Thus the same care and respect we have for our family should likewise translate to our country and other people in general.
“Few of those who are filial sons and respectful brothers will show disrespect to superiors, and there has never been a man who is respectful to superiors and yet creates disorder. A superior man is devoted to the fundamental. When the root is firmly established, the moral law will grow. Filial piety and brotherly respect are the root of humanity.” — Excerpt from the Analects of Confucius
Xiao is based on the concept of jen or ren which means ‘goodness’ or ‘humaneness.’ In Confucianism, Jen is seen as an internal and personal attribute. It is a cultivated love for others; an attitude of the heart. All virtues stem from jen. Confucius believed that it should be the preeminent funnel for all human behaviour and actions. An important point to note is that, it knows no boundaries of race or religion because it is simply showing and doing good for and to mankind.
“The paternal filial duties discipline the heart and prepare it for the love of mankind. The intensity of private attachment encourages not prevents universal benevolence.” — Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Furthermore, reciprocity is a key ingredient of xiao, in that, it stems from the fact that parents give life to their children and support them throughout their life. So to show appreciation for their parents’ love and sacrifice children must respect and serve their parents. It is clearly symbolised by the character for xiao (孝). Xiao (孝) is a combination of two characters, the top portion is lao (老), which shows an old man and underneath, is er zi (儿子 ) which shows a young man supporting the old man. Thus this demonstrates the support by the young of the older generation and the respect of the young for the older generation. In short, a culture of reciprocity.
This integral virtue is found in other teachings across Asian countries like in Taoism, Buddhism, Korean Confucianism, Japanese culture, Singapore culture and Vietnamese culture.
Although filial piety is a concept that originated in China, I believe I display this virtue. I truly love my family with all my heart and I am always glad to spend time of be of service when I’m needed. But there are certainly some downsides to such devotion. As an individual I have my own attitudes and beliefs and it may clash with my grandparents’ notions but I try my very best to always listen and defer to their teaching even though their priorities may be different from mine. The times that I have not been able to defer to their suggestions, I have felt a deep pain and guilt which I prefer not to feel so as a rule I compromise to accommodate them.
Come to think of it, my fiancé and I were having this conversation yesterday about doing things for our parents, siblings etc. and we both defer to them as a regular part of our lives because of the sacrifices and support that our family has given us. Therefore I doubt there’ll ever be a time where I don’t take care of my family or obey their directives even if I have to create an elaborate compromise because my parents nurtured, protected and supported me and still do, therefore I will continue to support, love, respect, honour, appreciate, obey and take care of my parents and by extension my grandparents.
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References
“Asian Topics On Asia For Educators: Confucian Teaching”. 2018. Afe.Easia.Columbia.Edu. http://afe.easia.columbia.edu/at/conf_teaching/ct02.html.
Mack, Lauren. 2018. “Filial Piety: An Important Chinese Cultural Value”. Thoughtco. https://www.thoughtco.com/filial-piety-in-chinese-688386.
Ministry of Social and Family Development, Singapore. 2012. Filial Piety. Video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d11GTkR9b04.
Whittemore, Jessica. 2018. “Jen, Li, And The Five Relationships Of Confucianism — Video & Lesson Transcript | Study.Com”. Study.Com. https://study.com/academy/lesson/jen-li-and-the-five-relationships-of-confucianism.html.
