I’ve found that most advice to get people through panic attacks assumes that you are in control of the situation and have enough of an established space and routine to actively practice self-care. Things like meditation, having tea, etc. work well, but only once you’ve gotten to the point where you can start doing them.
But panic attacks don’t always hit at the right time and the right place for you to jump right into your arsenal of coping mechanisms. You might be in a meeting, out with friends, in a class, on a plane, etc.
You are probably not as trapped as you feel
Don’t feel like you’re trapped or stuck where you are. Feeling trapped, or like you desperately need to escape, is a common feeling during a panic attack, and telling yourself that you can’t leave can make the feeling worse. Never doubt the power of just speaking up and saying “Excuse me, I’m not feeling well, I need to step out,” or looking at your phone, acting startled, and ducking out. Or you can just head to the bathroom.
Most things aren’t as mandatory as they feel; and no one will stop you or judge you if you need to leave in most circumstances. You can always catch up later on what you missed. Once you’re in a safer place, like the bathroom, or your car, or sitting outside, you can start working on breathing exercises, open a calming app on your phone, use what’s in your resource kit, or whatever else helps.
Panic-busting things you can do privately, anywhere
If you can’t go somewhere else, either because you really are stuck where you are, or you feel paralyzed and like you can’t leave, there are still things you can do. First, let go of trying to force yourself to focus or pretend you’re not having a panic attack. Few people will notice if you zone out for a bit. Take some deep breaths and focus on yourself.
If people do notice that you look unwell — if you’re breathing hard, shaking, sweaty, pale, etc. — it’s okay to let them know what’s happening and ask for help. If you don’t feel comfortable saying it’s a panic attack, just say you’re feeling unwell. As awkward as it is, almost everyone has been hit with distressing and inconvenient “unwellness,” whether it’s nausea, a massive headache, a sudden drop in blood sugar, etc.
If you have paper and a pen with you, doodling, making a list of what’s freaking you out, or other writing can help. If physical sensations help ground you, squeezing your hands into fists, gently biting your lip, or pressing yourself against your seat can help. If you can look at your phone, find a distraction or use a calming app. If you have water, drink; if you have gum, chew some. Use anything in your resource kit that you can.
You may not be able to change your external circumstances to feel better, but you always have control in your own mind. If you have a mantra that helps, repeat that internally. Recite song lyrics or a poem you have memorized. Picture people, places or things that make you feel calm and happy.
Ride it out and let it suck
During a panic attack, actively fighting the feeling can often make it worse. Trying to force yourself to calm down or think about something else works for some people, but can make others feel more trapped and stressed.
Sometimes, when you’re stuck in a situation and stuck in a panic attack, you have to just let yourself be stuck. It’s something to tolerate and ride out. It feels terrible, but feeling terrible is a thing that happens sometimes. Plenty of people have endured periods of deep discomfort, whether it was a panic attack, food poisoning, severe headaches, etc. — and you will too.
Remind yourself that you’ve felt like this before, and you survived it, and it passed. Panic attacks are medically harmless — you’re not going to die, and it’s rare to pass out during a panic attack (even when you really feel like you’re about to). Resign the next few minutes of your life to feeling awful and know that eventually, you’ll be done with this situation and on your way to feeling better.
This article is part of the “So You Had A Panic Attack” resource guide. Go back to the SYHAPA index page
