HOW YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY IN 5 SIMPLE WAYS

8 min readJul 27, 2022

It has been a long debate whether happiness is an emotion out of a result or can you actually choose to feel this emotion?

I have had the most toxic attitude and mindset for three years and this is what I learned about it. Sad people don’t want to be happy. They dream of happiness while craving the feeling of sadness. I know that because I was one of them too. I don’t like it when people tell me to look at the positive side or be more optimistic. I feel like they are taking it so lightly while it matters so heavily. I started reading books with sad ending, watching movies with sad plot that makes all my thoughts in the inclination of negative emotions.

It was crazy and I felt crazy at the time. Looking back, I realized I overthought every single thing so much while thinking so little. Reminiscing the pains of the past while dwelling on the hurtful uncertainty of the future by plotting it with the pattern of negative emotions was detrimental. I realized that my program was to think, feel, and act negatively.

During the pandemic, I had the opportunity to take some time for myself without the fast-paced environment chasing me at my back. I woke up one day and I felt so guilty about how I acted. I was so toxic even to myself that I forced my mind to shift to an empty box with no thoughts because I was not ready to be accountable for all the embarrassing behaviors I had done. It went on for a month where I just consciously controlled my mind to stop dwelling on the past.

This forced me to be more present. I started journaling and only allowing myself to reflect and reminisce on the past for only about an hour a day. I started feeling better because I started thinking better and acting better.

I’ve had bad minutes and hours, but never a bad day. I never crave the feeling of negative emotions. I actually avoid them at all cost because being used to positivity makes me uncomfortable in the shed of negativity. It was weird because I felt so much more alive and grateful after doing these 5 conscious mind control exercises for happiness.

According to psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, about 50% of our natural happiness level is genetically predetermined (our so-called happiness set point). I think my own happiness set point was initially lower on the scale, but with effort, I’ve been able to raise it because, over time and again, I’ve chosen to be happy, even when my environment and circumstances were telling me differently.

To be honest, choosing to be joyful requires ongoing effort and is not a trait that simply arises. In fact, I’ve had to practice thinking positively. I have, in fact, experienced bouts of despair and anxiety, just like many others.

I’ve come to realize that these issues shouldn’t define who I am or how I feel. It shouldn’t even have any impact on me. I still believe that happiness is a choice, but maintaining optimism takes effort.

Happiness is not the outcome of success.

Most people believe that happiness is a byproduct of success or other positive events, like finally paying off the loan you’ve been making payments on for the last two years. According to that reasoning, you wouldn’t be happy until you had paid, which took some time. Make happiness a cause of your success because it is not an emotion that should only be felt as a result.

Smiling can boost your mood and instantly make you happy.

Science, however, demonstrates that this kind of short-term satisfaction isn’t actually sustainable over the long run. The truth is that there is no quick fix for happiness.

In fact, I think that your efforts are the foundation of your enjoyment. Even in the hardest and darkest of times, you must make a commitment to happiness, give it top priority, keep your attention on it, and practice discipline. You must reach a certain stage in life to start seeking happiness.

How can I choose to be happy?

We reportedly make about 35,000 remotely conscious decisions each day, which may seem astounding. From seemingly unimportant decisions like what to eat and wear to significant ones like who to love, what to do with our leisure time, whether to relocate to a new location or quit the job we feel trapped in.

Some of the decisions we make work out really well, while others don’t. However, they all stem from our intense need to be happy, which is what unites them. These decisions are a component of our “life activity.”

“Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. “ Ralph Marston

I understand what you’re probably thinking: this is all easier said than done. Life is hard. Things happen. As we all know, change is the only constant in life. There will undoubtedly be many difficult experiences for us to overcome. This only indicates that life is not simple, not that life is unpleasant in general. But your circumstances or situation do not determine your level of happiness. Happiness results from a decision you make internally.

Methods to Get Started

Despite the fact that my surroundings could have suggested otherwise, I had to teach my brain to choose happiness. By engaging in specific “feel happier” activities, I think I’ve increased my natural happiness set point. If you’re having trouble figuring out what makes people happy, try incorporating these personal recommendations into your everyday routine.

1. Daily Gratitude Count.

Start identifying things in your life for which you are grateful, since happiness is a choice. It might also be seemingly unimportant, everyday occurrences that we frequently take for granted, like a roof over your head, food on the table, or water to quench your thirst. Making a list of these things in a gratitude journal will help you feel happier overall. Try writing down three positive things that happen every day. In my experience, doing so boosts optimism, lowers anxiety, and chemically alters the brain to be more optimistic.

2. Consciously choose to think positive

Try to live by the saying that “every cloud has a silver lining.” It’s easier said than done to concentrate on good thoughts and attempt to reduce negative thinking, but give the following strategy a shot. Simply replace every negative idea you have with a good one. Through this exercise, you can retrain your automatic thought processes to think more uplifting thoughts and experience happiness.

Finding contentment will be easier if you alter your viewpoint on the issue. Even if the error was significant, attempt to shift your attention to your past successes by reliving your achievements and joyful moments. Making a mistake is different from being a mistake. You are capable of growing. Be kinder to yourself.

3. Lift that lined lips to lift a bad day

Flip that scowl around! “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy,” observed Thich Nhat Hanh, one of the most significant personalities in the disciplines of mindfulness and meditation.

In fact, research has demonstrated that smiling and other outward displays act as a continuous feedback loop, supporting the reinforcement of our internal feelings. According to research from the University of Kansas, making yourself smile while engaging in stressful activities can help lower your heart rate. Therefore, grinning even while we’re feeling bad will eventually make us happier (and healthier). Try grinning at someone you don’t know; cheerfulness is contagious and may be chosen.

4. Be mindfully aware

The simple practice of mindfulness meditation might help you strive to feel happier. Just 10–15 minutes of morning meditation can help you get ready for the day ahead because it will immediately increase your inner focus and clarity.

Numerous studies have demonstrated that meditation can increase pleasure by, among other things, lowering stress hormones, reducing the size of the brain region in charge of worry, and reducing anxiety. I started meditating a month ago, but I became sidetracked and couldn’t continue for a short while. When I meditated and when I did not, I clearly saw a difference in my mind and day.

“No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive you can find to focus on. Since happiness is a choice, start finding things in your life that you’re grateful for. “

5. Choose a purpose

A positive trait you may extend across your entire life is meaningfulness. Activities with a purpose, such as volunteering, gardening, writing, working, or getting involved in politics, have been demonstrated to increase people’s happiness and lower stress levels simultaneously. Set a goal and make sure it is in line with your mission.

FINAL WORDS

According to a well-known quotation from Abraham Lincoln, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be,” and he was correct. Happiness is a choice, but it’s also a daily practice that takes commitment, time, and work. By implementing the aforementioned advice, you should hopefully begin to experience some advantages. But if you still don’t feel joyful, stop and consider your course of action. Are you taking the steps necessary to choose happiness, or are you allowing your feelings to rule your actions?

May the odds always be on your side.