A Ramble on College, Work, and the Twisted Road That is the Twenties

[Here is the outcome of the first day of my 500 word, 31 writing challenge. One confusing, messy, all over the place blog on entering the ‘real world.’]

You never know if you’ve made the right decision until you’ve already made it.

January 26th.

So on a random Tuesday, (January 26th if you were really wondering,) I found a website, through my medium dashboard, called Goins Writer and signed up for a 31 day writing challenge.

Write at least 500 words a day, for 31 days straight. That’s all.

But wait, no editing. So 31 days of raw, mind purging writing that should result in a new habit of writing everyday…sharpen your craft Amanda.

But with no topic on day one, what is a over-exhausted yet underworked creative like me supposed to write about?

It’s been quite some time since I’ve given myself the freedom to let my words run free on paper. It’s been quite some time since someone has given me the opportunity to tap into that side of my brain.

Tangent: I say this at least once a week when I’m at work, but I’ll finally put it on cyber paper, [haha…] and say that 140 characters is NOT enough. It’s barely writing and it isn’t something that should be listed under ‘Tasks’ on a job description. Like seriously. /EndTangent.

They say that writing works best when you write about what you know and the one thing that I know right now is that life is easier when you’re in school & no matter how much you prepare, there is no roadmap to adulthood.

So let’s rewind.

I graduated from UCSD last June, with honors, in Economics.

For most people, college is getting involved, getting overworked, getting to stay up all night to study, getting to party without limitations and most of all, getting to find ‘who you are.’ [Whatever that even means.]

For me, college was balancing the trifecta: class, friends, and sleep.

Weekdays were for studying and weekends were for friends…and studying.

I started making a list of things that I wanted to do — travel, music, skydive etc etc.

A list of things for after college.

There is a time & place for everything. [Or that’s what my dad always told me.]

College was for studying.
Or so I was told.

With two marketing internships under my belt, [I was already one of those people that constantly told others that what you studied in college didn’t really matter, so study anything and everything that you want.] I left UCSD with branding and ad campaigns in mind.

Okay, we can fast forward now.

Knowing that I wanted to stay in San Diego, I searched for months for a job in marketing, one that would play to my strengths and feed the creative side of who I am. I yearned for a mentor that would show me the ropes in the ever changing market of marketing.

&I thought I found one.

Nearly six months later, I can conclude that I was wrong.

—

The twenties are a very confusing time…You learn that there is such a thing as too many opportunities, too many choices, too many doors, too many paths, and honestly all of it is just too much.

When we were in school we were given a roadmap on how to reach your goal, your destination.

Oh you want to be an English Literature major? Take classes A, B, and C before you take D and then turn right and make a slight left and bam! You’ve arrived at the land of the Lits, all English, all the time.

But all jokes aside, it’s incredibly difficult to navigate your way to a new goal when you were given a road map to all your old goals since you can remember. And all of a sudden, you’ll never be given one again.

I think the problem with the twenties is the fact that every decision feels like it’s going to be a dire one. Sometimes I wonder if it’s just because I’m here on my own, or if this is how every new graduate feels.

The level of hesitation is at an all time high for decisions you thought wouldn’t matter and at an all time low for the ones that you thought would.

When I was in college, I thought that saving would be everything! I thought that straight out of school I had to start saving, especially since I was going to be on my own.

I was wrong.
I concluded not too long ago that the twenties are a time to be selfish.
Sparingly selfish, but selfish still.

It’s a time for one to explore all the ends of the earth, to explore all the ends of yourself.

Travel a lot. Eat a lot. Splurge a lot. Experience a lot.

Explore to learn to look at the world from different perspectives.
Explore to get the tiniest glimpse of how people on the other side of the city, other side of the state, other side of the country, live.

Explore to broaden your horizons and to bring to light the darkness that is intertwined into society which will eventually intertwine itself into us.

But honestly. It’s so damn confusing. More confusing than any equation, theory, or assignment that you could possibly get.

There are no finish lines, you know?

This entire piece was a long tangent that took tangents within itself. But hey, the prompt said no editing so all the jumbled thoughts that lay in my mind poured out onto cyber paper.

I guess you can say I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.