3 “Up Close and Personal” Tips for Effective Communication
… but not TOO close!!
“Well we shall see your bearing.” The Merchant of Venice, William Shakespeare
In our most recent article, you discovered how to “people watch” from a distance to improve your communication. Catch that episode here.
Today you’re going to discover that people watching “up close and personal” will give you even more hints to improve your communication.
What if you can hear the words they use with all the nuances of tone, volume, and inflection? What if you can see the finer expressions of their body language — the raised eyebrows, the clenched teeth, the jubilant smile?
These will all contribute to the meaning of their communication.
Let’s get started!
Up Close and Personal Tip #1 — DO I KNOW YOU?
There will be a difference whether you know the person well, know them slightly or they are a complete stranger.
If you know the person well, you will be very familiar with the fine nuances of their voice, facial expressions, and simple gestures.
If you only know them slightly, you may have a good idea of what they are communicating but can’t be sure.
And if you don’t know them at all, you will have no idea! Or your preconceived ideas based on your experience will kick in! That could be positive or negative for your interaction.
Here’s a Tip! In talking to someone you don’t know that well, check in or confirm what you think they are expressing. A simple “do I understand you to mean such and such?” will provide you with confirmation of the immediate communication and will also give you a good idea of the individual’s style
Up Close and Personal Tip #2 — OBSERVE ALL ASPECTS
If this one sounds familiar, it is! Just as you did in people watching from a distance, now you can observe the finer details up close!
Be aware of all aspects: the facial expressions — eyes, mouth, and jaw; the voice — tone, volume, and speed; and any small gestures of the hands or body.
There’s an expression that states: if the words say one thing and the body language says another, focus on the body language!
It doesn’t necessarily mean the person is deceitful. It could simply be a learned behavior. I know a woman who always has a forced smile when she speaks to a group of people and another who has a nervous giggle when she has to speak to a group. Very possibly acquired conduct perhaps from an early age.
Here’s a Tip! Be mindful of all aspects of a close interaction — what I call “full communication.” Observe more than just the words. What else is being communicated through voice or facial expressions? When you respond, are you getting the reaction that you expect, or is something off?
Up Close and Personal Tip #3 — DETERMINE YOUR PERCEPTION
Once again, a reminder that your perception is your reality! If you define a response — whether verbal or non-verbal — a certain way, then you in turn will reply back to that, which may not be the intention of the other person. A basic miscommunication can have a far-reaching impact.
Allow yourself to review what you see and hear and be conscious of what you are reacting to. Did a facial expression or tone of voice change your interpretation of what was being said? Oftentimes, we give a knee-jerk reaction which is a learned or acquired behavior. Or simply our mindset at the time of the interaction can make a difference.
Here’s a Tip! Ask a trusted friend or colleague for assistance. Ask how they see you displaying a variety of moods or emotions and how you look, act and speak under particular circumstances. This makes it safe and hopefully, provides some honest input.
You may be surprised to hear how transparent you are in both your verbal and non-verbal communication and the unconscious responses that you display.
So take the time to be mindful of all the nuances of a communication and if in doubt, ask!
BONUS TIP:
Here’s a fun video that I am sure you will enjoy!
