Has Your Heart Ever Been Broken ?

Don’t answer yet — just listen.

Let’s for a moment be honest with ourselves.

Can we do that for just one minute?

I’ll go first:

I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential.

This isn’t always best, but that’s me.

About 10 years ago I fell in love with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I hung on to the relationship for a long time (evidently longer than I should have as he was cheating the whole time) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. I now know that I never understood my self-worth at all.

I was desperate.

And in desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place.

In my situation, the only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving.

So I left.

It was the worst emotional pain I have been through in my life, by far.

If you are among the brokenhearted today, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know what you are feeling.

I do.

There’s a hole in centre of your chest that nobody can see, and it feels like your soul is leaking right through it. You either cannot sleep at all, or you sleep all day. You either cannot eat at all, or you cannot stop eating. You are either dead numb, or you cannot stop sobbing. You are either incapable of working, or terrified that somebody will make you stop working and then you will have to focus on your terrible sorrow.

You have been betrayed, abandoned, lied to…..or maybe your lover did absolutely nothing wrong — except not to love you anymore.

The bottom has fallen out of your life. Your dreams have been shattered. You don’t know how you can survive this.

But you will!

I did! I found love again, or love found me shall I say. Then slowly, slowly, slowly my world grew bigger than my own tiny little broken heart, and I began to feel beautiful and special, and I started to believe that the universe was a place of infinite possibility…

So someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and in a good way too.

Having a broken heart, is a good sign. It means we have tried for something.

But how does this impact us from finding our ‘soulmate’?

And by soul mate I don’t mean your perfect fit.

This person doesn’t exist.

What I am referring to is your true soul mate, which is a mirror. The person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.

Soul mates; they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then sometimes they leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to yourself!

If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy/girl, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot — a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in — God will rush in — and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using your ex to block that door. Let it go.

So please believe me when I say: your world is so much bigger than you could ever imagine. Your job now is to go find your vastness and your potential and your miracles elsewhere — someplace that is not through the person who has hurt you.

I would love for all of us who have been through heartbreak, to share our stories of how we made it safely to the other side, in order to inspire the brokenhearted. Will everyone do this today? Out of love and a sense of fellowship?

With Love

Asklychee

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Originally published at asklychee.com on February 22, 2016.

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