The Best Advice I Have Ever Given……
My first memory was when I was about five years old. I was in nursery and my friend said: ”close your eyes and lean back into my arms.” Then she let me fall and I remember crying like a baby and telling my mum about it when she came to pick me up and she said, ‘Don’t trust anyone.’ She was slightly twisted like that, don’t ask me why; that’s a whole other story for another time. But I’m pretty sure that’s why I’m an introvert. I went along with this mantra for life, and found it extremely difficult to follow; after all this rule couldn’t apply to everyone — could it?
So with the benefit of wisdom and experience, after a while, I altered this mantra to suit my truth and it went a little something like this, “Do not rely on anyone, apart from God”.
This may not be new info. to some but I have been reminded of this yet again when I let my guard down last week, as you do. and ended up being disappointed. The thing is I didn’t even get upset when person A disappointed me, I was more mad at myself that I didn’t plan a backup. Thankfully it wasn’t that big of a deal simply because lately I been trying to focus more on the positives rather than the negatives. So far so good.
Fast forward to eight years ago when I met my now husband but then boyfriend, I remember telling him this piece of advice and staring deep into eyes so he understood that I was dead serious. I will not forget the look he gave me, he must have thought I was crazy. I even went as far as to tell him, he should never rely on me — and for someone who is very reliable, that’s a big deal.
You see the thing is I genuinely believe you yourself are the only person that you can and ought to rely on. I just do. You may say to yourself that you have friends that are there to support you and that you have family that is there to help you when you need help. This may be true, and to be fair in most situations it is true but it still does not change the fact that when its all said and done, it is just you standing on the finish line. It sounds grim but it is not, I promise you. The sooner you come to accept this statement, the sooner you can begin to rely on yourself for all it is that you need from life, and what’s more is that you stop blaming other people for the ‘state’ of your life.
There will come a time, sooner or later when people let you down — myself included, no matter how good of a person they are. This is only human nature; we all make mistakes and poor decisions from time to time. People’s priorities shift and that’s ok, one shouldn’t be upset at that.
Learning to stand on your own two feet all the time will make it easier to stand alone when there is no one there to help you. But this is not to say that we shouldn’t ever ask for help — we should ask as often as possible. However, we must be ready to take on any burden ourselves if that is the only possible solution.
I am not sure what specifically this post was for, but just as most of my posts are born out of me learning from my experiences, this is no exception, so I would love to hear about any mantras you have for life that have or haven’t served you well in the comments section below.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for not judging. And thank you for being kind.
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Originally published at asklychee.com on November 21, 2016.