Your final frontier
Perception of boundaries, individuality and own happiness is an essential step towards a balanced life. Know what, let's be real — I am not going to pretend there is such thing as a perfectly happy or stress-free life, that is simply idealistic. But how close can we get and at what cost?
Where do you draw the line of your individuality?
Where does your character end? Or begins, if you will. What is your honest opinion/behaviour and what is portrayal of someone else's? Should no one hear/see you, would you be saying this or would you behave differently? How heavily are you affected by the recognition of other's?
Do you still feel disappointed, even though you honestly admit to yourself you've done everything in your power tackling some sort of a problem? Unfortunately, that one is on you.
Setting up boundaries, that is all about you, not about the people around you. You have to be, for once in your life, true to yourself and understand where to draw the line.
Coming to mind: satisfying everyone. Hmm, talk about unreachable goals. Are you constantly trying to make everyone happy? For your own sake — I hope not, however I know I am. It physically pains me when people disapprove of my choices or disagree with me. Or it used to, I should say. As silly as it sounds coming from an adult, acknowledging the problem is the first step to recover. Possibly.
So I encourage you, set up healthy boundaries, don't be afraid. It is and will be difficult to say no. Looking into another human being's eyes and saying 'Get off my back, will you?' 'Stop asking me for favours!' 'Don't try to guilt me into doing that.'
And yes, they will be upset. I officially label this SEP. You are being fair to yourself, I salute you.
The bad news is you might need to dig deep into your consciousness, unleash the darkest beasts and deal with uncared for. Right, pay your own dues, to yourself. Quite an important part of it, however absolutely worth it. That being said, I am sorry to inform you, this is most likely going to be one heck of a painful experience. Possibly ever worse than telling someone to back off.
Care to be asocial? Go for it! Why wouldn't it be okay to crave a bit of alone-time? I understand humans are social beings, however I know for a fact humans are quite annoying. And vicious.
Distance yourself. Don’t be afraid to say no, you’ll only be sorry you hadn’t. Be fair to yourself and put yourself first. It is when you sort of go with it, you are more afraid of failing someone rather than failing yourself and you allow people to cross your boundaries. Vicious circle alert.
So, say no. Vocalise the tiredness of your constant (and probably failed) attempts of 'being a good friend' or whatever. And, to fully disclose, I do condone treating people as you'd like them to treat you. Yet again, we're back at the beginning, setting up boundaries!
You might make others happy, yet you need to make yourself happy. You are allowed not to have your life together at every second of your time on Earth. You don't have to portray yourself as a confident person, when you don't know what's the meaning of life to you. You shouldn't apologise for feeling blue. It is just fine to struggle.
You don’t have to answer to anyone for trying to be a genuine person.