Mar 14, 2020
When It Already is About Life and Death — Covid19 and the Elderly
For some of the elderly clients I visit, the matter is already about life and death. Many are homebound with few to no services provided to them and with very few surviving family members. For some of these seniors, Covid-19 poses almost no immediate danger as they are not around enough people to be exposed to the virus. When the news of the virus began to circulate more widely, I reached out to family members of these homebound seniors and/or the elderly themselves and asked if they would like the “stranger” or in this case, the NYU social work intern from the Friendly Visiting program of the JCCGCI, to continue to visit, and almost all of my clients chose the possible exposure to the virus over continued further isolation. This choice was made before the State of Emergency was declared, concrete details regarding Covid19 had been confirmed, and the virus qualified for pandemic status. What can this decision help us to understand about this population of people when the more pressing and present danger is isolation rather than potentially being exposed to a virus? When a person actively chooses potential exposure to a virus with an incredibly high rate of mortality for themselves or their family members by an asymptomatic visitor, what can we learn about our society’s systemic failure to protect its elderly members?
Especially in a city like New York, the first and last person and perhaps only individual they may see within a day may be a caretaker, family member, or social services’ provider. Their homes become make-shift hospitals and nursing homes, and oftentimes, as a society, these are the seniors we regard as fortunate as they are able to continue to live in their own homes. However, for many of them, life is already very similar to a mandatory quarantine as they have no ability to get around anymore and life, in all of its forms, must come to them. For a few of my clients, I will be their only “formal” plan within the day — a one-hour visit from a social work intern, who will talk to them about whatever topics they want to discuss.
The generation of people I visit did not grow up with technology, so the idea of social media becomes akin to an unknowable creature that is spoken about in the abstract. Therefore, lessening isolation cannot be in the form of an Instagram community or a Facebook group. Exposure to people’s voices other than the ones that come into their homes come mainly from televisions, radio sets, and phone calls. Before my visits were disallowed by both my University and my agency, all of my clients were aware of the Covid-19 virus, but they tended to want to talk of politics rather than any possible future pandemic. One could speculate many reasons why they wanted to avoid the topic, but for some of them, they simply remained uninterested — this may have been one unintended and very positive consequence regarding the lack of access to social media — they were less exposed to the growing hysteria on these online forums, and they had no reason to be plugged in in this way as they had nowhere to go, nowhere to be, and no one to see.
Throughout the 7 months I have visited them, my clients have spoken to me courageously of grief and loss, the feelings of no longer mattering to the communities where they once felt as though they contributed so much, and the revelation that perhaps they are now viewed as a burden to those they love. I cannot make any of this better or solve anything, but I can create a space for them to share these feelings. For one hour each week, I was invited into their homes and they welcomed and relied on the company. Of note, they continued to welcome this company even if I brought along an uninvited guest, a virus, that could threaten their lives.
My visits have now turned into frequent phone calls. I am to assess if they have enough food, if they are feeling well, and if their basic needs are being met, and then report any relevant information to my supervisors, who do this work selflessly and heroically as their jobs, not as a mandated internship. My goal is for my clients to know that the outside world still cares for them, and they are not forgotten. Some calls are brief and business-like, and others are emotional and teary. I reiterate how much I care for each of them, and how I am a phone call away. However, for many, a phone call cannot replace the feelings of connection that is created by in-person contact. As of now, many of us, myself included, are feeling the effects of being alone far too often. This moment in time highlights something that my elderly clients did not need to be reminded of — loneliness can also kill.
