Banish Toddler Bedtime Battles
Turn your toddler’s bedtime from dreaded to dreamy.
Before I had kids, bedtime was one of my favorite times of the day. It meant a time of calm, washing away the day, and climbing into a warm cozy bed. Fast forward to life with a toddler, and bedtime became synonymous with chaos, tears and guilt.
As children get older, their routines sometimes need to change to reflect their new skills, independence, and interests. For us, one of those times occurred when James was 15 months old. His bedtime routine had been going just fine, but suddenly we found ourselves with an upset toddler who cried bloody murder for a chunk of his bedtime routine. After a few days of bedtime battles, my husband and I arguing about what the new ideal bedtime routine might be, and no one knowing what to expect when bedtime came around, my husband and I took a deep breath and tried to figure out how to make the process easier for all of us. We agreed we needed a Plan it Out support that would use simple words and fun pictures to show James what we would do every night at bedtime. We needed clear expectations, consistency and to be a cohesive team. The routine book helped us turn our toddler’s bedtime routine from dreaded to dreamy.
To make this Plan it Out support, I had to know what we wanted to see happen, every night, always. That seemed pretty easy. We wanted to clean up the house, get James ready for bath, brush his teeth, give him a bath, read a story and then snuggle before putting him in his crib. A pretty typical routine, I think (but up to this point, hard for us to consistently pull off).
Once we had laid out what we wanted our routine to look like, I needed to decide what format James would be most interested in. He had to want to pay attention to the support in order for him to follow along and learn what to expect. At 15 months, James was very into books. We typically read 12+ books throughout the day. So it seemed most natural to make him a Bedtime Routine Book that we could review and read, just like any of his beloved stories.
Finally, we needed to decide on the the language and pictures. Based on his age, I decided to use digital pictures of the actual objects and items that would be a part of our routine. The language in the book needed to be on the same level as what my husband and I would say to him naturally throughout the routine.
When I put it all together, we had a routine book that James enjoyed reading and a nice “reference guide” for myself, my husband, grandma, grandpa, and anyone else who put James down for bed. It was especially nice during times of stress (like James starting to get agitated about something). We were able to quickly grab the book and actually show him the next steps. This helped gain his attention and he was able to move to the next step easier.
It wasn’t magic. But, it was easier. The first night was easier because my husband and I both knew what the plan was, and we knew we had communicated the plan to James in a way that we were certain he understood. So, the tears that night weren’t because he didn’t know that he had to clean up his toys, it was because he didn’t want to. But, lo and behold, each night got noticeably easier. Finally, after about a week of reading the story throughout the day (on demand), and then right before bedtime, things did go smoothly! In fact, after just a few days, he was leading us through the routine.
It was a little bit of work to get the routine book made. But the peace of mind I had that my husband and I were on the same page and would be consistent with the routine, and that James knew what to expect throughout the routine, was well worth the time. I’d say the benefit outweighed the time cost!
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD A COPY OF THE ROUTINE BOOK.
This was our starter book. We made a few changes as James’ needs changed and we worked out exactly what routine worked best for our family. If you use a similar routine, please feel free to print and glue/tape pictures of your child and his bedtime necessities to the story. For the printable version, I put some line drawing place holders on some of the pages we had digital pictures of James. I think digital pictures are best at this age, if possible. If you have a different routine, and would like me to make some changes to this one, please let me know. I’m happy to make a couple different versions. In fact, in the next few days, I will post a different version of a bedtime routine we use with both my boys now that they are a little older.
