Smile: It’s insanity.
6–22–2017, Norman OK, USA. Journal entry №2.
I can’t go on fighting the screams. So I’ve made the decision to join them.
I’ll join the silent screaming in my head. I’ll join the pounding. I’ll join the cold, empty darkness.
I’m starting to crave it.
I want to be alone, Alone with my voices. Alone in the dark shallows of my being.
So I will sink. I’ll embrace. I’ll smile.
Because the voices are the only ones left to hear. They’re the only ones I can trust. The only ones who will accept my screams of sorrow. I will become them. A human shell supported by the agony that controls me.
I am a shell, I am a case, I am the one who let go. The one who curled up and smiled. The one who drank the screams in and became one of their own.
I crave the insanity. I became the insane.
-From the ghost of my past. who may still be there, buried just a little.