When It’s Time To Let The Good Thing Go.
I experienced a taste of heaven yesterday. I encountered the Spirit of the Lord in such a way that it filled a well deep within my soul. He poured out so that I could be filled, and it overflowed. This was what I longed for — prayed for — for weeks. I’ve been tired, but not a physical tired, a deep spirit tired. There was a weariness in my soul that couldn’t form words to express it. My heart was groaning for the broken souls who walk this earth, not knowing that they, too, can gain this freedom I write so passionately about. There was a groaning within my soul for I, myself, who all too easily forgets this freedom I write so passionately about.
A former pastor of mine used to say, “When you’re feeling weary, and lonely, go serve someone.” This has stuck with me for years. There is something freeing about service, and perspective. A few days ago I felt the whisper of the Lord remind me: “Go serve someone.” My eyes were opened and on the lookout.
On a drive across town, I spotted a brother selling the newspaper. Knowing a bit of his story based on the qualifications to sell this specific paper, I pulled out a twenty dollar bill and thought I’d grab him a quick coffee from Starbucks before stopping by to say hello. More so than the giving and receiving of my practical gift, I was longing to receive also through simple conversation. Even if just a quick conversation from the passenger side window of my vehicle, I would at the least search for heaven in his eyes. I grabbed two coffees, had my twenty dollars ready, and pulled away from the drive through. I neared his spot, where I had just seen him, and have seen him standing for the last five years, and he was no longer there. Where did he go? I sank back in my seat, disappointed. I waited at the red light and closed my eyes, ‘I needed this, God.’
I pulled into my driveway, two hot coffees in hand, put the car in park, and sat for a moment — not quite ready to enter back into reality. ‘God, you told me to serve him.’ Something as small as his absence, and my assured faith that I heard the Spirit speak, unraveled me to the thought that maybe all these years I couldn’t hear the voice of God like I thought. I wasn’t ready to dig into the depth of that doubt yet and with the sound of laughter coming from within my house, I laid my unanswered questions aside and joined my family. My husband was the recipient of the coffee, because nothing goes to waste — most definitely not coffee.
Sunday, a week later, my husband received a text from a concerned friend who’s wife has been very sick. I felt this anger well up in me. The groaning was starting to form words and the spewing of injustice came flowing out of my heart. I was weary for my friend; so tired for them. I’ve seen the miracle power of God in my life; I’ve seen it in the lives of others. I’ve heard with my ears the testimonies of God’s healing touch. I’ve heard the radical stories of people being healed of cancer, of debilitating depression, of heroin addictions and suicidal pursuits. I’ve heard this Good News — I’ve tasted some of it myself, and yet my friend was still sick, still struggling to live. I’d had enough. I was not mad at God, I was mad that I hadn’t seen the miracle. My husband and I sought courage as we felt the Spirit speak to our hearts to go lay hands on the sick and heal them. Not by our righteousness, because God doesn’t want or need our righteousness, but by the righteousness of Christ who has already given us everything.
I remembered a time half a decade ago when the four of us sat in my home, on our living room floor, declaring the same healing over this friend who has battled a disgusting illness for many years. And I thought, when at first you don’t succeed, or see answers, try again. And again. And again until you are standing victorious and have crushed the head of the serpent beneath your feet!
God isn’t interested in a half-hearted effort, or a half-healing. He is making all things new; restoring things back to their original design. This includes our bodies, as our bodies are first His. We are the temple of the Lord, the place He has chosen for His Spirit to reside. Therefore, if the details of the actual physical Temple of the Lord were so extravagant (as it was in the Old Testament), specifically requested by God, what makes us think He would not be so concerned with the details in our physical bodies, down to the very cells that make up our DNA? He is not just making all things new on Earth — but He’s making all things new on Earth as it is in Heaven. I am speaking this truth over all of you who read this and are asking for healing.
The night we prayed over our friend touched an area of my soul that had been asleep. My husband and I, along with our children, joined together out of love and vulnerability to remind God of the fullness He promised us we will live in as His children. We fervently declared a radical healing over her body.
The following day, we heard good reports of her recovery, but also reports that our friend was still sick and in bed. So, we thought more about what our role was in all of this and continued believing for the miracle. Not long after this, I received a call from another friend who felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to go lay hands on my friend and pray for her healing. The two of them had not met each other yet, but we all felt God was up to something. We set up a time to visit her, fully believing God would meet us there. We spoke the truth over her, carrying only the faith of a mustard seed, and there God restored a little more life into her.
On my drive home, I asked God why there are some people we hear of that are physically healed instantly, but I had not seen this with my eyes yet. I simply heard this thought wave across my mind, “It’s a process. Only I know where they are in the process.” I remembered hours earlier when I looked up the definition of ‘healing’. It says this: To mend, cure, make whole; to restore to health. And it occurred to me that even in this description, there is order to the process.
First, the mending. The bible says God mends the broken-hearted. (Psalm 147:3) This is first because out of our very heart flows the springs of life. (Prov.4:23) Then, He brings the curing. Jesus cures our minds of fear and unbelief; For what can a mended heart accomplish with a fearful and unbelieving heart? Next comes the moment he makes us whole — setting us free to live in the fullness of Him — full of love, peace that surpasses all understanding, and faith to move mountains. Our hearts are mended, the power fear once held over our mind is now broken, and we are resting in the fullness of who He is! Lastly, because God works all things together for good, comes the restoration of our health! We are restored — heart, mind, spirit, and body. Full health.
God was unpacking years of doubt in my mind. He was ‘curing’ me of my own fear and unbelief, with this same process of healing. God said, ‘Of course, when you lay hands on the sick, you believe for the full restoration of their health! But, when you do not immediately see that with your eyes, know that I am working in the process — and do not lose hope that I will finish the work I have already started.’ That is when it hit me: yes, because, what would be the benefit of a healthy body with a dying soul? He works from the inside out.
Yesterday was the day I introduced my two friends to each other and we rallied a second time — staking our flag of Victory in the ground. We spoke the truth over her, carrying only the faith of a mustard seed, and there God showed up in the process. He was tangible. I could feel the weight of His Presence all around the room. I could not see full restoration with my eyes, but I have every bit of confident hope that He was there, and He is finishing what He has already started! And if He calls me to her home a third time, then I will show up eager with anticipation of what God is going to do next!
I woke up this morning with a renewing in my heart. It was a fresh hope, the kind you get after a day like yesterday. I was re-hashing the fresh revelation I’d received from the Lord on a question about miracles that had plagued my heart and mind for years. I brewed fresh coffee and opened the blinds as the sun beamed through onto my face. I sat down and sighed a very deep breath. Grateful. I pulled out my journal, grabbed a fine point pen and began to process on paper. I was marveling at the love of Jesus. It had held me captive and I didn’t care if I ever returned. And then, as if the veil was torn again, I sensed a stirring within my heart that felt like grief.
“Lindsey, I’m going to give you a moment to grieve this.”
“I am doing a new thing today.” And the Spirit spoke with such conviction, I knew He was asking me to lay this down.
There is a healthy cycle, or circle, in life of releasing not just the difficult things back to God, but surrendering the good gifts — the really good gifts — back to Him as well. This moment of heaven was for yesterday, but God is no longer in yesterday — He is in today. He gave me a minute to process on paper, and then I laid it down.
I grieved for only a moment. I don’t have to cling to yesterday because God has promised fullness and abundance for those who love him, today. I do not have to cling to His Presence yesterday, because He is good for it today. The submission of all the joys, all the sorrows, the good and the bad — placing it all back in His hands — has left my heart open in expectation for what He has for me today. I am no longer weary, but in full peace — resting in His Goodness.
God was setting this up for me weeks ago. He was using my friend selling the newspaper as an example not to camp on the good things. At some point, God is calling us to release the comfort, pack up our things, and follow him to the next location — without giving us any information but to trust that He is a great leader. Just like my friend selling papers, who’d been at this very good spot for the last five, or so, years, He was drawn away to the next, even if for just a short time.
Jesus said, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life and they will never perish.” (John 10:27–28)
Our Good Shepherd calls out to us, asking us if we’ll lay it all down and follow Him. For today, He is doing a new thing!
Isaiah 43:19–20 — “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. The wild animals in the fields will thank me, the jackals and owls, too, for giving them water in the desert. Yes, I will make rivers in the dry wasteland so my chosen people can be refreshed.”