Mirror

She sat on the ground before it. Her red hair falling into her eyes as she glanced demurely at the surface. She sat with her legs crossed and her shoulders curved. The posture of someone defeated but still here. Her life reflected before her on the silver wall. She felt small and inadequate in this mirage staring through her. The things she saw brought tears to her eyes. The simplicity of what surrounded her fueled the thirst for something more. Was this really the life she wanted?

She longed to touch the glass and see a new world; where impossibilities were probable. She slowly began to crawl towards it. Her knees marking the carpet with slow hesitant movements. She was desperate for a change. Desperate for the reflection to finally show her the life she dreamed of. With a shaking hand, she reached out. It was calling to her, demanding her to make contact. Her fingertips barely touched the surface.

Her view had changed. Now she was on the opposite side. Looking in at herself, sitting on the floor. Staring at the mirror with an expression of longing. A laptop before her, waiting for it’s keys to be pushed. For a story to be written, for words to appear on it’s currently black screen. But she would write no story because she was too fixed on what was missing from her own life. She sat dreaming of what she thought was a perfect life. As the girl dreamed, the visions were cast on the glass like a projection. Images flashed of all that she craved: relationships, possessions, fame, adventures. None of it bad, but none of it hers.

I wanted to scream at her. To bang on the mirror, to get her to realize she was missing her own life. She was waiting for something to happen that could never happen if she sat on her bedroom floor staring at a reflection. But she couldn’t hear me. She was too lost in her delusions. So focused on what she didn’t have. So focused on what she thought she needed. Why couldn’t she see that she was wasting her life on things that didn’t matter? The past was gone. The present is now. And here she is, only focused on an unrealistic future. I tried to yell, “GET UP! GET OUT! STOP!” But she couldn’t hear me. Her eyes glazed over as she was dragged further into her hallucination. I beat on the glass. I wanted out. I had to change her. I had to fix her. I had to get her to move. To remember the good, forget the bad, and start living now. But it was useless. Each time I hit the glass, it hit back. I couldn’t get out. I was trapped. I was stuck watching myself forget to live. I beat the glass till my hands turned bloody, pain shooting through my arms. I couldn’t take it anymore. I broke down, tears filling my eyes.

But it was all a dream. The mirror hadn’t really changed. I hadn’t fallen through. My life was exactly as it had been before, but one thing was different. I was. It was a new year, with a new perspective. And I was finally ready to accept the reality that was before me.

It isn’t perfect, but it is real.