Be interested not interesting
It is so easy for us to criticize others, but it is so difficult to give someone genuine advice and honest compliments. People focuses on the imperfections of others and see them in good light.
“Dale Carnegie” highlighted this fact in his book “How to win friends and influence people”. People do not criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may. They consider themselves as a right doer and consider others who are cruel, rude and harsh with them.
Criticizing people is a complete lose situation that only creates distance, spreads negative energies. Instead of criticizing a person use another approach to advise him which creates a fruitful effect.
Dale Carnegie gave an example of “Oklahoma” who is the safety coordinator for an engineering company. He always commands workers with lots of authority that they must wear safety hats on the field work, but as soon as he went workers remove their hats. He decided to try a different approach. The next time he found workers not wearing their hard hat, he asked if the hats were uncomfortable. Then he reminded the men politely that the hat was designed to protect them from injury and suggested that it always be worn on the job. The result was increased compliance with the regulation with no resentment or emotional upset.
“A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle, “by the way he treats little men.”
In the next section of this chapter Carnegie focused on the importance of an individual. Every person in this world has a desire of being important. This desire brings courage in us to achieve our goals, to make us grow, to complete our tasks or anything.
It defines your character that how you get your feelings of importance. Carnegie give an example of , John D. Rockefeller who got his feeling of importance by giving money to erect a modern hospital in Peking, China, to care for millions of poor people. Dillinger, on the other hand, got his feeling of importance by being a bandit, a bank robber and killer. This is how we developed our character by choosing the paths for being important.
Appreciate your colleagues, friends and people around you for their efforts and work, to make them feel important. This will ultimately develop a sense of love and respect for you in their heart and people will become ready to perform any task for you. Moreover, the efficiency of their work also increases. If you wanted people to do what you want, you need to focus on the things what they want. If you want to persuade someone to do something .Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: “How can I make this person want to do it?”
“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
After reading this chapter, my urge to know about people and their situation becomes more intensified. I have good relations with some of my close friends. I just thought for a while, why these people trust me and consider me to share their problems and secrets? When we made someone feel important, when we take the time to understand others, show interest in them and made them feel that we are their true well-wisher, ultimately the connection between us become strong and we prioritized these persons in our lives who are interested in us and show care for us. Consequently when these persons need us for any kind of help, we are willingly there to help them.
I decided to apply all these rules by talking to those friends and family members who are not so close to me. I started being interested in them by asking about them, whether they are fine or facing some troubles in life. I have learnt so many things from this communication.
I become aware of very interesting and amazing facts and realities about my friends, this is the actual process of knowing our friends and family through being interested in them. I felt that the connection between us become more stronger, because we start knowing real themselves.
I applied the rule of appreciation in my teaching that I start appreciating my students for their best performance by giving them gifts and motivating them for their future, and avoid any type of criticism for those those did not perform well and advise them to improve themselves by telling them the importance of education and motivate them to achieve some goals in their lives. This rule ultimately helps them to improve their performance and I am very happy that I became the reason for someone’s betterment.
“Someday people you don’t care will not care about you, and that will be the time you will learn how to appreciate others”
