The Debilitating Effects of MeToo Syndrome

It will kill you. Not the physical you. The insecure, lonely version of yourself that lacks the ability of being comfortable with standing alone in your beliefs without conforming to societal trends.

MeToo Syndrome strikes those whose immune symptoms are weakened by the pressures of shifting mindsets from social norms that were once considered acceptable and admirable — College education, professional career, marriage and children — to alternate lifestyle choices. The elusive yet ubiquitous committee of They, who clearly dictates the rules of conformity to the masses have succeeded in feeding this frenzy that sparked an outbreak of MeToo Syndrome.

How to recognize a victim of MeToo Syndrome:

1. Overt eagerness to bandwagon their way to social media ‘cool crowd’ acceptance
Today’s trending behavior across social media platforms is to let the virtual world know that you too are abreast of flavor-of-the-day trends by ‘live tweeting/facebooking’ broadcasts of TV shows, movies, sporting events, whether you have a genuine interest or not. Sadly, sufferers of MeToo Syndrome would prefer to be counted as one of many who follow rather than one of the few who leads. The satisfaction of #hashtagging contributions and declaring “Me too!” offer the same relief as passing gas after overindulgence — it stinks in the end but was worth the sacrifice trading discomfort for inclusion.

2. Adopts habits of ‘your life sucks because you’re doing it all wrong’ experts
So-called experts broadcast the dangers of failing to add kale chips to diets and how one can gain super-hero strength if beet juice and cauliflower cookies are consumed daily. Running 15 miles a day will add 150 years to your life. Traditional jobs are for losers! Quit that 9 to 5 and enjoy a life of freedom! The MeToo sufferer who is allergic to kale, beets and cauliflower, who barely walks 100 feet and is living paycheck to paycheck will find themselves in dire need to conform regardless. The irrational logic of blending in or risk being exiled is real to the MeToos. In their minds, happiness is synonymous to herding so thou shalt follow the sheep even if they are being led over a cliff.

3. Displays the common side-effect of FOMO: Fear of Missing Out
This symptom goes hand in hand with MeToo Syndrome. The victim’s mindset becomes fraught with misconceptions of failure, embarrassment, self-devaluation and insurmountable regret if unable to be present at ‘must-attend’ events. What follows is a need to qualify a no-show status by spewing “iheardisms” to those who not only attended but also showered social media timelines with videos and live posts: “I heard that show was wack… I heard ticket prices were a ripoff… I heard no one important is going this year…” This self-deprecating mind game is repeated while the poor FOMO sufferer maniacally punches in the date of next year’s event into phone, computer and wall calendars.

4. Joins every club membership relevant to popular trending platforms
MeToo sufferers are incapable of standing confident in their own individual nuances. This creates internal conflict and discourse for the weak when societal messaging dictates an opposing stance. Recalculating long standing beliefs to fit the masses is imperative for inclusion. The opportunity to display a position of “Me Too” by joining popular groups is far more important than a silly little thing as being true to oneself: Save the Wildebeest population…Me Too! Meat-eaters Are Monsters Movement…where do I sign up?! I knew this all along! Tweet, tweet!

So what’s the cure?

There are many variations of MeToo Syndrome, both mild and manageable to debilitating levels of stress and discomfort within one’s own skin. Treating this dis-ease is both simple and complicated at the same time.

If there is a member of your circle who suffers from MeToo Syndrome, please approach them delicately with the following sage advice:

Be confident enough to move about your life the way you see fit. Real life happens outside of the virtual walls of social media — it’s not Facebook, no one has to like your opinions. Be bold enough to unfollow the herd mentality. Not all leaders are the loudest.

And lastly, please strongly advise your MeToo suffer to take heed to a meme I came across along the internet streets: Be careful when blindly following the masses…Sometimes the M is silent.

Abundantly yours,