Blue Eyes holding back tears

After almost two years of looking for and photographing wildflowers near and around my neighborhood, it’s a pleasant surprise to find something brand new and beautiful right before my eyes. This morning my hiking group walked four miles around the southern side of the Brazos River flood pain and we ended up in a lovely forested area with the first blooms of spring around us. Vetch, buttercup, stickyweed, and then these strikingly beautiful Texas Baby Blue eyes (nemophilia phaceloides). Nemophilia mean “wood-loving” and as today, they are usually found in the woods. They will be gone in a few months when it gets hot. Blue wildflowers are not as common as yellow and white so it is a lovely surprise indeed. Although, Texas will be blanketed in bluebonnets pretty soon. They are already blooming in my front yard!

In walking with and meeting so many new women this past couple of weeks, I have come to the conclusion that everyone is dealing with something. Children who have come out as non-binary, husbands just up and left them recently, daughter coming out as gay, and on and on. One of the new friends I made got a phone call as we were walking. Her daughter’s friend, who is gay, had just been beaten up and was in the hospital. So egregious. All of the ordeals that these folks are going through are rooted in hate on the part of people around them being judgmental, lack of common goodness, and just the atmosphere of not accepting people for who they are. Something that was improving in America and now has backtracked and is getting worse. And I realized they are all grieving in some way or another. Grieving that their children are facing a world of misunderstanding and hate, grieving at the loss of the lives they had counted on. And I thought to myself, my grief is based on love, really. I am desperately missing the one I loved, who treated me well, who was respectful and honored all people for who they were were. I can feel fortunate, in a way, that this is the grief I am bearing. I would change the words of this song to: Everybody’s eyes are holding back the tears, holding back the pain. We all have our crosses to bear. But if we talk and share, the burden is eased just a little bit.

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