Becoming a better receiver
This week I went on a little solo retreat. It was only for a few hours but it made all the difference. Instead of staying home to work on all the things on my to-do list I drove to a Korean spa that is about an hour away from my house (King Spa and Sauna in case you’re wondering).
I had been having a hard time accessing my higher guidance about the details of the women’s retreat I am leading this Friday. I had a general plan, but every time I tried to get some specifics, nothing would come. I knew that Spirit was waiting for the right time to give me clarity, so I was trying to be patient. But now, with a few days to go, I was starting to panic.
All of this was on my mind as I debated with myself about going to the spa. Mostly I kept telling myself that I needed to stay home and plan. I also felt selfish contemplating taking this little retreat.
There is so much pain the world, I thought so myself, so much angst. Could I really afford to stop, to pause and nurture myself? Wasn’t I being selfish?
But I could feel my heart urging me to go. For whatever reason sometimes you just need to be away from your familiar surroundings in order to hear your inner wisdom. I’ve learned this lesson many times, so I followed my inner urging, and decided to go to the spa.
Once I was there I found myself. As I soaked in the different pools, and spent time in the various crystal rooms, I started to feel clearer. As I released the mental chatter I was able to feel compassion for myself and others, not from a place of overwhelm, but a place of genuine kindness and love. I saw how taking this time to nurture myself enhanced my ability to be a healing presence to others and to the world.
And as I sat in the Himalayan salt cave with my eyes closed, I finally received the guidance I had been looking for. I saw in my mind a sort of mental movie of what I would be doing at the retreat. I heard Spirit guide me in certain directions that I wouldn’t have taken on my own. The plan unfolded so easily that I wondered why this had felt so hard to figure out.
But of course, that’s the point. I didn’t have to figure it out. Spirit is working through me, and in order to receive the Divine guidance I was seeking, I had to, well, receive it. I had to get in a very receptive state. I had to get soft, and tender, and vulnerable. Which is how I felt as I sat in the beautiful salt room. I was open. I had allowed myself to feel my feelings–the worry, the fear, the doubt, the confusion. I didn’t try to fix these emotions, I just let my Soul send them love. Because I allowed myself to feel my feelings, there was no resistance, and the wisdom of Spirit just poured in.
Once again, I learned the lesson that one of the most important things you need to “do” in order to receive guidance from your Soul and from the Divine is to become better receivers. This requires commitment and courage. You have to be willing to become soft (which is different than weak) and open. This can feel scary because when you soften you often access those places inside that may be hurting. But, that’s how it’s meant to be, because when you access those feelings you can offer them up to Spirit for healing.
This is a practice. You soften. You open. You feel your feelings. You let Spirit and your Soul tend to any painful emotions, and in this tender space Spirit can more easily infuse you with Her Divine energy. And then you soften and open some more. You do this step-by-step, at a pace that feels right for you. You commit to being honest with yourself if you notice that you are avoiding this process, not out of some real sense of Divine timing, but out of fear.
It is this softening, this receptivity that makes you a strong healing agent in the world. This is what truly allows the Divine to love through you. And right now the world needs this love more than anything else.