who’s into numbers?
what i thought just now became the title. and my choice of topic today.
man, finance is a funny thing.. numbers in general are a funny thing. so annoyingly necessary to have the world go round. i actually, in honesty, brutally, ABSOLUTELY haaaaaaate numbers. and guys, when i state ‘numbers’ in this write up, i mean finance, budget, spending obligations, spending for fun.. basically, i’m literally the person you can’t ever go to after eating a whole ass group lunch for the bill, ever.
i get super anxious, with a subtle unwillingness, but anxious as fuck. and this is both a blessing and a curse.
you ever wonder why those dudes from wall street are those dudes from wall street? they’re epic, capitalistic geniuses… analytical, strategical, just.. chart topping greatness. throughout my life, i had A’s in math, and even A’s on all my exams, tests, and quizzes. Ok, like.. A-.. but, still I despised working with numbers and math. I don’t think I’ve ever been really good at it. even going into my teen years and college, i’ve held retail jobs and pretty much sucked. LOL
i.e
Lisa, you need to reach your goals today. What’s your sales goal?
Lisa, 300 more to go! (Me: 300? what is even the goal today, though?
Lisa, 3 more shoes, and you’ll get Employee of the Month (Me: staring.. quietly)
You can tell i hate retail. I love women shoes. but fuck retail.
Numbers. It’s a dreadful thing. It’s something I’ve never dealt with growing up and so left me in quite a mess as an adult because when a kid doesn’t learn to accept or actually take initiative to learn these very, apparently, key-thing-to-life number things.. years later, you find yourself sitting here, reflecting through your financial journey, and wondering how you literally could of done a lot more with #s and figured out how to get rich faster in the first place.
No, but seriously my relationship with money is all jacked up. i guess growing up a bit less fortunate than those who are really gave me an understanding of how much damage money/numbers can do to a person. the greed. the selfishness. the lies. I’ve watched time and time again how the bag can ruin lives.. including family. the thought of how i feel vs. felt.. it’s made me more flimsy, airy, but frankly ignoring the numbers cus i will never “use them for a grown-up job ever” wrong.
I believe having a knack of numbers gave you (yes, you, the numbers people) the gift of having a knack for analytical skills. and boy, these analytical skills are definitely needed today. and forever. in every damn JOB. it’s like survival of the fittest over here! who can figure it out first? who?
its such a challenge because i know that i only hate numbers because i would get anxiety in math just trying to solve a problem and get it right. the idea of a bad grade was so epic and tragic to me, it would literally be like walking on a rope over a moving river trying to see if i’ll make it. if i’ll get across alive. but i do get across. and it feels amazing to know you did it.
for those growing into adulthood, for the old Lisa who hated math — if only you knew that taking pride and accepting your abilities in math can only make you better with practice. its training wheels, baby.
