Head Above Water: Six Steps to Surviving a Setback

Lisa Lynn
Lisa Lynn
Aug 28, 2017 · 6 min read
Photo by sergio souza

This weekend, Category 4 hurricane Harvey pummeled the Gulf coast in Texas, leaving thousands to deal with the aftermath, which included massive and widespread flooding.

Although I’ve never experienced a flood like this, I did nearly drown when I was fifteen on a church canoe trip down the Illinois River in Oklahoma.

My two canoe mates and I had done well most of the trip, scrawny as we were, but just as we approached a stretch of rapids, we came around a bend and our canoe capsized and got stuck in some tree roots under an embankment by the force of the water.

My friends managed to stay with the craft and get out of the river, but I went bobbing down the river through the rapids sans canoe.

There were big, sharp rocks on the bed of the shallow river and the rushing water kept throwing me into objects, pulling me under and crashing my legs into the rocks.

I was terrified, as was my late father, the minister of our church, who was just down river watching the whole horrifying episode.

My thought the entire time was simple: keep your head above the water, Lisa.

Obviously, though bruised and battered, I survived and the trip was not marred by tragedy, even though I found out later that one of my little brothers had also nearly drowned further downstream.

Decades have passed since then and I have found that much of life is a reflection of that particular experience, riddled with sharp rocks, tree roots, capsizing canoes, rushing water and the fear and uncertainty that goes with all that.

We spend our lives trying to be better through all our experiences. We study, we do our homework, we get licenses and certifications and degrees and trophies.

We build new habits. We learn to implement exercise and better sleep into our daily routines.

We begin to eat better and even lose weight, working to take care of the one body we must make last a lifetime.

Many of us even overcome tough addictions like drinking, drugs, shopping, porn, gambling.

Inevitably, however, at times we fail.

We get distracted by travel or job changes, relationship drama, illnesses and accidents, child rearing, financial challenges, losing loved ones, maybe even by natural disasters like hurricanes.

And when these distractions hit, we often find ourselves falling off of the good habits we’ve created, or losing track of some amazing project we’ve started, or re-gaining weight or things more serious like returning to an addiction we’ve managed to overcome.

When we wake up one morning and find that we have “fallen off the wagon,” or temporarily lost our way with our progress, we immediately judge ourselves.

“I’ve failed. I suck at life. Why bother now?”

Often, most of us will go back to our lesser-desired habits, give up on a project, fall back into the patterns that we worked so hard to improve and then we continue to judge ourselves.

It feels as though all the work we did before was wasted. We feel helpless, and even hopeless.

I want you to know that you are not alone. We ALL do this. Even the “experts” whose work you have read or programs you have followed in your efforts to get your own life on a higher-vibration or plane have setbacks.

We all experience hard times, life’s interruptions, minor or even major disasters.

And with those distractions come human emotions, feelings of being displeased with what’s going on around us, even baggage that still runs beneath the surface and causes us to lash out at others.

These are human traits and none of us will ever escape them, not even our heroes.

The good news is that all of these instances of “dropping the ball,” or getting distracted are temporary and completely reversible.

We can very easily “keep our heads above water” by following a few simple guidelines.

  1. Notice. Once we have been disrupted or distracted, the first thing we must do is to simply recognize that we have broken a new good habit or gotten caught up in a flood of behaviors we prefer not to have.

The important thing here is to simply notice the event, and notice the behavior without judgment. “I broke my own good habit of avoiding pasta last night.” “My writing project has not been addressed in a week.” It’s ok to just say to yourself what the thing is that you’ve done or not done that you worked hard to change or grow.

2. Don’t judge. The key to making this whole process simple and doable is to not be hard on yourself, not to judge or criticize or feel as though you’ve committed some heinous offense.

The feelings themselves are harmful, so just let them pass. Don’t buy into the ego-temptation of judging. Just float through them.

3. Be present. Another temptation is to start calculating how many times you’ve “been hit,” or have made this particular mistake, or how your life seems like a series of setbacks.

Instead of doing that, focus on the moment you are in right now: where are you sitting or standing? How does your body feel right now? What do you sense in your surroundings? Focusing on the moment will anchor you and keep you from dwelling on the past.

Nothing that has happened to you, or that you’ve done in the past exists anymore, and the future is filled with infinite possibilities that you can create from this exact moment. Just take a deep breath and sit in gratitude for the moment.

4. Learn the lesson. The distraction that has just allowed you to have a brief setback may have crossed your path to teach you something. Ask, “what have I to learn through this experience?”

Then listen to your intuition, that still, small voice that has always guided you.

Sometimes, there may not be a lesson — perhaps you’ve experienced the loss of a family member or something actually happened to someone else in your life and you simply focused on supporting them so much that you got away from your own practices. In these cases, try and be grateful for everything in your life.

5. Forgive. Forgiveness is fuel for you, as well: forgive anyone who has harmed you and your heart will be open to returning to your own positive growth path.

This is not to say that you should allow anyone to continue to harm you. If it’s a toxic relationship, by all means, step away from it and allow your heart to be lighter by forgiving the person.

Not easy, perhaps, but simple.

6. Take one step. Take the tiniest step toward returning to your practice, your growth, your project, your newly found good habits.

You will find that you have not, in fact, lost all the progress you made before. On the contrary, those efforts are cumulative — they will help you bounce back even more quickly than ever before, faster each time you have a setback, and even further along your journey to higher vibration or awakening.

Just as I knew eventually the rapids would calm and I would be back on terra firma, you will find your way back just flows to you as you practice: Notice, don’t judge, be present, learn the lesson, forgive, take a tiny step.

As long as you keep your head above water, you’ll be fine. We all have challenges, we all fall down once in awhile, and we all can get back up — more easily each time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I appreciate your reading my story! If this story has served you in any way, please give me a little applause and a follow. Connect with me on Facebook here or leave a comment below and tell me what you’ve learned in your own life.

)
Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade